It’s been a long time since I last felt this affliction. I don’t know what triggered it but I feel it more and more often these days. The reality of this affliction remains with me and I am constantly reminded of it no matter what I am doing. I am reminded of it when I am at work or when I am simply sitting around reading. It comes and it goes and chooses its own time in an arbitrary manner to manifest it self.
Maybe its’ triggered by chocolates then again it might be the coffee. I try to move like it didn’t matter, I try to ignore it, its complicated really. But sooner or later it comes to the surface, creeping like fire until it consumes all that there is. I loose focus as it becomes all that I can think off. It slows me down and I function with a marked decline in effectiveness.
It keeps me awake and pulls me away me from sleep when I do happen to doze off. When the symptoms manifest it self I feel every pulse beating and the blood surging through the arteries in my head. I am constantly reminded that I am susceptible and vulnerable and that no amount of reason nor logic will spare me from its tight grip. Its an affliction with no cure and it seems like I have no choice but to accept that this is something I really have to live with.
I still remember the pain from the last time I had been through this, and how it seems to engulf everything, reducing time to a blur. Pain that I had to endure because of this affliction. I loathe every minute that I had to endure it as it squeezed my mind, every moment I had to live with it was torture. Had I been a masochist this affliction would have been sheer ecstasy and I would have been floating in paradise or so it would seem. I welcome it like a dementor’s kiss but at the same time I am thankful, because I know that I am alive and that I still know how to feel. Despite my sarcasm, angst, skepticism, and paranoia, Human, I am still.
How I wish I was describing something else, that I was being poetic and merely playing with words. How I wish I am writing about literature’s favorite theme, that which drives our passions and makes the world go round, so they say. Oh this affliction of mine! I think I should give it a name. Its’ called… Migraine.
Maybe its’ triggered by chocolates then again it might be the coffee. I try to move like it didn’t matter, I try to ignore it, its complicated really. But sooner or later it comes to the surface, creeping like fire until it consumes all that there is. I loose focus as it becomes all that I can think off. It slows me down and I function with a marked decline in effectiveness.
It keeps me awake and pulls me away me from sleep when I do happen to doze off. When the symptoms manifest it self I feel every pulse beating and the blood surging through the arteries in my head. I am constantly reminded that I am susceptible and vulnerable and that no amount of reason nor logic will spare me from its tight grip. Its an affliction with no cure and it seems like I have no choice but to accept that this is something I really have to live with.
I still remember the pain from the last time I had been through this, and how it seems to engulf everything, reducing time to a blur. Pain that I had to endure because of this affliction. I loathe every minute that I had to endure it as it squeezed my mind, every moment I had to live with it was torture. Had I been a masochist this affliction would have been sheer ecstasy and I would have been floating in paradise or so it would seem. I welcome it like a dementor’s kiss but at the same time I am thankful, because I know that I am alive and that I still know how to feel. Despite my sarcasm, angst, skepticism, and paranoia, Human, I am still.
How I wish I was describing something else, that I was being poetic and merely playing with words. How I wish I am writing about literature’s favorite theme, that which drives our passions and makes the world go round, so they say. Oh this affliction of mine! I think I should give it a name. Its’ called… Migraine.
ang labo!hahah
ReplyDeleteChocolates don't cause migraine - people do hehe.
ReplyDelete