Remember?

It’s almost 11:00 am… I just finished my Quality monitoring load and I am now taking a few minutes to try and let my mind wind down. My shift officially ended at 8:00 am but I am still here at my workstation. I spent my whole work day Monitoring people and discussing issues related to performance. Its taxing work to have to worry about how 14 people are doing, listening to their problems, encouraging them to do better, trying to put some sense into some of them when they fail to see the reality in front of them, and yes even having to talk about their love life.

My social life is officially dead. Between work and graduate studies I barely have enough time to sleep let alone engage in any leisure activity. I sometimes feel like I am sinking in quicksand. A perfect example was last weekend. I spent the whole night working on a report for one of my subjects and I also had to study for a midterm exam. I finished my report at around 7:00 am and had to rush off to school. I took my midterm exam in the morning, reported in the afternoon, and I had to go directly to the office because I had work that night.

I guess I shouldn’t be complaining. I should be thankful that I have a job and that I can study at the same time. My worries are trivial I guess compared to what other people had to go through or are going through.

The number of people who died from the recent tsunami has exceeded 300,000. The relief and reconstruction work will probably take years and the psychological scar of this disaster would probably take a lifetime to heal.

Two instances of genocide were commemorated recently.

This week marks the 60th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz – this was the Nazi death camp that became the symbol of the horror of the Holocaust. There an estimated 1.5 million people were murdered. They were systematically killed in gas chambers and their bodies incinerated in furnaces. Most of the victims were Jews. Others included Gypsies, Poles, Catholics, homosexuals and Soviet POWs.





Recently Rwanda held ceremonies to remember the victims of genocide that took place in 1994. Anywhere from 800,000 to more than a million ethnic Tutsis and moderate Hutus were systematically killed by the predominantly Hutu government in a span of around three months. This was one of the most recent and most horrifying examples of ethnic cleansing the world has ever seen. The UN pulled its troops out at a crucial time and the world watched it all happen on CNN.

The list goes on….

I guess we should all be thankful. Life in this country may be hard but if we compare it to some of the horrible things happening in the world, I’d say we are still lucky. I just hope we learn something from history.

I guess I should feel better now, knowing how lucky I am. I wonder why I don’t…

Evil triumphs when good men do nothing...

Cerebral Thoughts

Got a lot of feed back from my last entry. A lot of people were surprised that I wrote something like that. Well, all I could say is that people are multi faceted and sometimes what we see is not an accurate representation of the whole person. Sometimes there are things about that person that you wouldn’t expect, something that might surprise you.

* * * * * * * * * *

I bought a copy of Sophie’s World from Powerbooks last week. I sneered at the idea of buying this book way back when I was still in college. Being a Philosophy student, I considered Sophie’s World as something beneath me. We were trained to read the actual text written (often translated into English of course) by all these renowned philosophers, and it was very good training. At that time it just seemed absurd to read a book like that because I saw it as overly simplified. But after watching the Matrix Trilogy again, for like the nth time. I found my self, trying to remember who said what and asking what was that theory called again… I definitely still know more about philosophy than the typical person on the street but I guess I need a quick reference guide, something like “A complete idiots guide to Philosophy”. I had to take a deep breath and eat some pride but I did it. Now if only I have the time to read it…

* * * * * * * * * *

While on the subject. I had a mid term exam today. I don’t think I did very well because I really did not have enough time to study due to the fact that I also had a report to prepare for. In any case one of the readings we had to read was this paper by Michael Todaro on Education and Development One of the points he raised was the fact that the educational system of a lot of developing countries were not producing the kind of graduates that these countries really need. If he was to have his way we’d have more engineers and scientists, preference would be given to courses that have more practical uses like nursing, computer science, and business courses. These courses actually prepare you for a particular career by giving the skills you would need. Now I wouldn’t recommend Philosophy for everybody but I am thankful for my classical education in this particular field of study. I believe that skills (i.e. computer skills, business skills, etc.) are easily learned but developing your mind to think a certain way (rational and logical) takes more effort and time but it definitely has its benefits. Philosophy sharpened my ability to grasp complex concepts, it introduced me to a world of ideas that a lot of people could only vaguely understand, and my ethical moorings are now grounded on solid principles. I think it has served me well, it helps define who I am, and I think I am a better person because of it.

I love Philosophy and History, and most of the other Social Sciences. These may not get me a good paying job or may not be a good topic of conversation in a social context. I don’t think you can talk about these things to impress a girl but hey sometimes knowledge about these things are good enough reasons in themselves.

Anyways… Enough of this… I must seem so weird and boring by now. Oh well…

I just remembered… I still have a paper to write… I am already three weeks late and I still haven’t started it. The topic is: Why is the Philippines underdeveloped? Seems simple enough, but the usual answers don’t seem to really answer the question. If anybody has any bright ideas please do post a comment.

Just another entry...

I first saw her in the library. She was seated behind a desk on the far side of the room with a couple of thick books lying before her. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail; she had fair complexion, and really cute round eyes. There were other pretty girls who I always see around the school in the library that day but she caught my eyes and for some reason my eyes always seem to drift back to her corner of the room.

That was the first time I ever saw her. Damn! She was pretty. I deliberated about approaching her, introducing my self and asking for her name and number.

What are you gonna say? “Hi! Your name must be Mickey cause youre so fine!” or some other lame line like that… Besides she is definitely way out of your league.

Hey I’m cool, I’m tall, single, and… ahh did I mention I was tall?

Save your self the embarrassment and just do what you came here to do. You have a lot of work to do, a mid term exam and a report coming up next week. Besides she probably doesn’t want to be bothered.

Shouldn't I have gone through all these crap, way back in high school? Shouldn't I be a confident young man out to conquer the world? I should be making her drool with my charm and witt....

Ok, ok… So I was either a spineless coward or a diligent student but I decided to look for the books I needed. I found one in the circulation section and I got the other one from the librarian in the reserved section that meant I would have to get it photo copied.

My eyes ones again drifted towards that little corner of heaven in the library only to find my angel no longer there.

She’s gone and so is my chance for romance and maybe even finding true love. If I only had the guts to approach her, maybe…

Dude! Get real man… a girl like that would never even think of going out with a loser like you. Besides do you actually think that a girl like that would be single? I don’t think so... She probably has a rich, good looking, commercial model like boy friend who drives a Jaguar or a BMW. Either that or she has half a dozen suitors who are far better than you.

You are one cruel son of a bitch…

It’s not me… The world is cruel and this is called reality… Welcome to your world…

I took a deep breath and sighed. Resigned to my fate I dragged my feet and headed towards another building because the photocopier in our school had broken down.

The place was dark because it was a Saturday. At the far end of the lobby in an obscure corner was a small room wherein you can find three photocopiers. They offered photocopying and even book binding services, and there I went.

I opened the door and squeezed into the small crammed room. Lo and behold there she was with a bundle of very thick books, which she apparently intended to have photocopied. This must be fate or I must be dreaming. It seems like it was meant to be. Scenarios started flashing before my eyes as I contemplated how to start a conversation. How do you talk to an angel?

You take a deep breath, try to smile a decent smile… no! Not the Johnny Bravo kind of smile, the one that says I’m a decent human being just looking for a nice conversation kind of smile…. Ok… I think I can manage that. What to say? Hmmm… let me see…

My thoughts were interrupted by one of the girls manning one of the photocopiers. She said: “sir! Kayo sir?” she asked me…

Instinctively I handed her my book and said “page 280 to 369 po…”

She quickly took the book from me and was about to start, then I noticed…

The pretty girl from the library, the one who moved with such finesse, with those round pretty eyes, my angel…

She had one of those big books on her hand. She had a piece of paper on another hand with a lot of numbers on it. Pages that she had apparently taken note of so she could have them photocopied.

She also had this annoyed and irate look. She wasn’t looking at me but I quickly realized that I had somehow offended her. Then I realized I had cut in line, she was there first and there I was cutting in line!

Arrrggghhh!!! What have I done! It happened so fast I didn’t even realize it.

“Nauna ba kayo miss?” Her expression answered yes…

So I said to the operator of the photocopier “miss nauna pala siya…”

And that was all I could say…

I could not say anything else.

A classmate of mine came in and we talked. It seemed like an eternity. When it was done. I paid and was about to leave. She was still there, she had more stuff to photocopy.

Before I walked out. I tapped her shoulder with one finger and said “miss sorry kanina ha…”

She nodded a polite nod.

I turned and walked out the door…

I saw her again later that day. She was walking ahead of me… going the same direction as I was. So I was in effect following her. I didn’t want to scare her and have her think I’m some kind of stalker so when she stopped I walked past her. I didn’t look back, and all I could say was how stupid of me… how stupid of me…

Highway Robbery

The Manila North Tollways Corporation (MNTC) which is primarily owned by the Lopez family of Iloilo, is set to take over the operations of the 82 kilometer North Luzon Expressway this coming February. This would mean a toll fee increase that would be more than 500 % from the current rates. Highway robbery… legalized.

Under the MNTC toll scheme, Class 1 vehicles consisting of cars and jeeps will pay a flat fee of P42 for destinations between Balintawak and Marilao; and P200 for the entire stretch of the expressway. This amount takes into account inflation and foreign exchange rates.

What they did not indicate in their computation is the amount they spent paying off Government officials since the Ramos administration in order to get this project. It is also obvious that they are now spending a lot of money for PR purposes to basically tell the people that; hey you are all screwed once we take over.

Another thing that really shows their greed is the idea to impose a flat rate from Balintawak to Marilao in Bulacan. This is in contrast with the current practice of charging on a per kilometer basis. I live in Valenzuela and I think it is simply wrong to charge us a flat rate when we will only use a shorter portion of the expressway. It is obvious that they are charging this flat rate because they want to quickly recover their investments.

Now I never had anything against the idea of private sector participation in such things that used to be the sole domain of the Government. But the idea that the whole repair of the highway costs around P18 Billion is simply absurd. There was already an existing highway and up until the point wherein the Lopez group expressed interest in taking over it, everything was going relatively well.

Since the Philippine National Construction Corporation would become a partner it lost all incentive to do its job and maintain the highway. Neglecting it would justify the move to privatize it. The very people who were responsible for making sure that the PNCC did its job and also the same people who negotiated with the Lopez group are now top officials of the MNTC. Can you say conflict of interests?

One of the major reasons for the exorbitant toll fees is the fact the whole project was primarily financed by foreign borrowing. This happened during the boom years of the Ramos administration when the Peso was strong and it seemed like a good idea to borrow from foreign lenders. Then the Asian financial crisis happened and now they are buried deep in debt. It is obvious that Lopez family really did not have the money to undertake this project in the first place and they had to borrow heavily to get it done. To me it doesn’t make sense for the people to pay for their miscalculations and business setbacks, this is obviously disadvantageous for the Filipino people. Can you spell PIATCO in four letters?

The Lopez family will probably have their way because everybody in government is afraid of their flagship company, ABS CBN. We should remember that this is also the same family who owns MERALCO, the company found guilty of overpricing and was thus compelled by the Supreme Court to reimburse its customers. This is also the same group who owns the ailing Maynilad and Bayantel, both also victims of the currency crunch caused by the Asian financial crises and both passed on to their customers the cost of these bad business decisions. They should have been jailed for the massive overpricing perpetrated by MERALCO but instead the people in Government gave them another venue to steal from the people.

These are the times when I feel like wearing a Che Guevarra shirt and a Mao cap and yell out for revolution, in the hopes of ridding this country of these oligarchs and corrupt officials who are sucking the life out of us.

Dive...

Standing on the beach looking out to sea is like reading a postcard from a far away place. To swim out is not much better. Not until you dive down deep into the sea will you experience what it is like to visit a whole new world that we only see in pictures or on TV.

Down there everything is different. The corals are alive with colors so vivid nothing like it exists on dry land. The places we visit are teeming with marine life. Thousands it seems swim all around you, and they come in different colors, sizes, and shapes.

Unlike in the movies where the sight of a shark evokes fear. To divers a shark is a welcome sight to behold. We saw one on our second dive. We dived down to layag-layag and then drifted towards bahura. There we saw a shark that was around 5 to 6 feet long and its fin was tipped black. It lingered for a while until it decided that our presence was somewhat of an annoyance and it decided to swim away.

The sea is always calling to us. Inviting us to visit its depths and see a whole new world even if only until the air in our tanks lasts.

December 30, 2004…

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