Minion of the Evil Empire

I admit it, I am a Minion of the Evil Empire. I work in a call center as a Technical Support Rep serving the Evil Empire’s Internet Service Provider arm. I am a Helpdesk agent, which means I serve as a Level 2 Tech (Without the official title and minus the L2 salary), providing information, and giving directions to the Evil Empire’s legions of Level 1 Tech Support Reps. We are also the one’s who face the vicious and most vile of the customers… Those who ask for a supervisor…

Being in this job, your friends tend to think that your cell phone number is a 1-800 number for tech support. Calling or emailing to ask questions whenever there is glitch with their computers. So in order to preempt the inevitable let me post some reminders for those of you who are not minions or those who are technically challenged (This means you Jeifan).

Windows XP Service Pack 2

Microsoft has released the latest update to Windows XP. This update (called Service Packs) is a compilation of fixes and enhancements that is meant to improve the Windows XP operating system. Microsoft claims that this improves security for you PC… The problem is how do you protect your PC from this latest Service Pack.

Some of my fellow Minions made the mistake of downloading this latest Service Pack and voila their system crashed. One even had to reformat his PC. This is a warning… Unless you are a masochistic techie who loves spending hours trying to fix your PC stay away. Let the experts fix the bugs before you even come near it. By the way if your Automatic Update feature is enabled then you will get the service pack without even knowing it. So to be safe turn it off.

Ad-Aware SE

My favorite spyware removal tool just got better. This gets rid of those tracking software, unwanted plug ins, and other crap you get from browsing all those porn sites. Best of all you can get it for free.

Poisoning and First Aid

Poison
Beauty almost died of poisoning yesterday. Beauty is our dog, a big, loud, and black Labrador with an equally big appetite. My Tita sprayed her with some chemical to get rid of her ticks and fleas. It was clearly a case of skin absorption poisoning. The pesticide apparently worked too well, it killed a lot of the ticks and fleas but almost killed the dog as well. It looked real bad that my brother had to rush her to the vet. Luckily she was back to her normal self when she got back home from the vet.

First Aid
We finally concluded the first aid training that we have been conducting for the last couple of weeks by having the First Aid Exams last Saturday. It has been several weeks of trying to teach kids how to do CPR, bleeding control, emergency rescue and transfer, and all the other skills. I call them kids because they were all born after Martial law. It is really fascinating how differently I see things today compared to how these kids act and how they think. I try my best to get them interested in the topics I am discussing and to keep their attention when the topic becomes boring. I just hope my efforts paid off. There are those who seem oblivious. It seems like they are there only because it is required in order to become a member of the org, and they just want to get it over with. I think they see first aid as something they have to put up with in order to become a member of UP Red Cross Youth which they probably think is a plus point on their relentless drive towards med school, specifically UP PGH. However there are those who I think see the importance of what we are doing. Anyways, it’s done. We need only wait for the results…

On a lighter note…

Latest addiction… Nescafe Ice from Ministop… It seems like I’ve been slurping it down almost daily. It’s a cheaper alternative to Starbuck’s Coffee jelly and it tastes somewhat like Zagu’s mocha pearl shake without the pearls. It’s so good that I got a couple of my officemates hooked as well. Jinggoy had 5 in one day and they even went to the extent of scouring 3 different Ministop outlets when it wasn’t available in Ministop branch near our office.

Liwanag sa Dilim

I received a PDF file copy of "THE WALLACE REPORT" on my email. This paper was developed from an earlier one: "Does the Philippines Have a Chance" which was written in October 2002. As the paper claims: “All the points made are still relevant today. But this paper further advances the issues, and adds to them.”

The paper stated:

In the past 30 years the Philippines has averaged 3.1% annual GDP growth and a population growth of 2.5%. Which means almost no improvement for the Filipino over that 30 years. This is about half the rate achieved by other nations in Asia.

Why?

1. Politics - vested interest vs national good
2. Uncontrolled population growth
3. Weak educational system
4. Corruption
5. Inadequate infrastructure
6. An agriculture system that hasn’t improved in 30 years
7. An inadequate focus on job creation
8. A judiciary in need of major improvement
9. Security
10. Good governance.

If these 10, and it must be all 10 of them, aren’t fixed the Philippines will average 3.1% for the next 30 years too. The logic of this can’t be denied.

This is according to a paper entitled “WHERE TO THE PHILIPPINES? (OR, DOES THE PHILIPPINES HAVE A CHANCE?)” by Peter Wallace.

“THE WALLACE REPORT” presented a somewhat grim picture of the future of this country if the Government of Gloria Macapagal Arroyo does not get its act together and if we don’t make some significant changes that would overhaul our country. I may not agree with everything he said but he did make a lot sense and I would have to agree with most of the points he made.

We really don’t need a reminder that things are getting worse around here. We can see that clearly every time we hear one of our friends planning to go abroad to work or to migrate permanently, or when we meet someone who decided to take up nursing so that they can get a job in the UK or in the US.

Yes, life is very difficult here. But I’m staying… The fact that things are going bad and sometimes it seems hopeless is the very reason why I think I should stay. If all the good people all pack up their bags and left, then this country would really be hopeless. We may not see things get better within our life time but I think we should still try our best to do what we can here and try to make things a little better. As I said before someone has to stay to man the trenches.

This reminds me of that song by Rivermaya. The chorus goes: “Isigaw mo sa hangin... Tumindig at magsilbing… Liwanag… Liwanag sa dilim…

Weekend

I spent last Friday night working on a case that our group was going to report on the next day. I had to skip to invitations for “gimiks” that night just to be able to finish the Power point presentation. Intermittent Migraine attacks made it a bit difficult to focus but I was eventually able to finish it on Saturday morning. I had to opt out of the First Aid training, good thing Olive was there to cover for me. Anyways… I found out later that it was all for naught because we weren’t able to get an overhead projector. We ended up using acetates and needless to say I wasted my Friday night working on a Power Point presentation that was utterly useless.

I did however manage to drop by at the First Aid Training that we were handling. Since it was the last training day before the exams we asked the participants to write an evaluation of the training. There are admittedly a lot of things we can do to further improve the First Aid Training but the interesting stuff was their evaluation of us instructors. As usual I got the usual comments of being scary and intimidating. I guess my height, size, loud voice, could be intimidating at times. Oh well… It works to my advantage. Hahaha!

We watched The Village last Saturday night at the Power Plant Mall in Rockwell. It never ceases to amaze me how that place seems to be so untouched by poverty. Anyways… the movie was interesting. It was different but my friends found the movie disappointing because of the twist and the ending. I however think that the film is ok, not great but ok. There are a lot of issues within the story. Is a traumatic experience enough to make people do such a thing? It’s a bit drastic but I guess anything is possible. Deciding to remove yourself from the world you know is a decision one can make but making a whole community, live a lie puts it on a totally different level. As the film showed evil can creep even into the most protected and controlled environment. Deciding to make people live in such a community, while using fear to keep people in line seems to be an evil in it self. It is simply unjustifiable despite the horrors that the elders went through. Reality can be a bitch but a safe controlled and perfect world can be just as stifling.

A scene from the movie "The Village"

Pictures and Prose… Circa 1990’s

It is inevitable to sometimes reminisce about the days gone by. My trip back down memory lane was triggered by the need to tidy up my room. With Gregorian Chants on the background I found a pack of pictures that I took for the last subject that I took for my undergrad degree. Film 110 was a free elective and all we did was take pictures, develop and print them, and the teacher gets to critique your work. Anyways… I also found an old notebook of bits of prose that I wrote back then. It was the late 1990’s the last days of the last century.

These were the pictures that I took and the words I put down on paper… back when I was younger.

Words # 2

Staring at the ceiling
Sitting on the couch
Asking questions
and finding no answers
Searching for reasons
Hoping to survive
Dreading reality
Hating my life
Contemplating death
While craving for life

ROCK

As night descends
the stars shine out again
like gems beyond ones reach
they fill my eye's
yet leaves my heart heavy
another leaf falls
and here I sit waiting
no movement, no life
just watching the world go by
weathered away by the seasons
a rock crumbling inside

Ulan

Isang araw sa panahon ng tag-init
Kasabay sa pagtulo ng pawis
and aking pananabik
maibsan ang pighating dala ng init
hinihintay and pag-ihip ng hangin
na sanay sundan ng pagbuhos ng ulan
ulan na galing sa langit
at nagbibigay kulay
sa mga bulaklak at halaman
ulan na siyang papawi sa uhaw
ng aking kalooban
Tila naawa ang mga ulap
dahan dahang bumuhos ang ulan
ngunit kaakibat nitoy kulog at kidlat
na naging hadlang sa aking inaasam
Ang dikta ng aking isipan
ay sumilong mula sa ulan
ngunit ang bulong ng damdamin
ay salubungin siya
ng walang pakundangan

Dying

I dream of dying
cause life is all screwed up
and the horizon is painted
with dark colors
and dreadful hues
I dream of dying
cause I've arrived nowhere
and I've lived a life
of unending strife
But I wouldn't want to die
Because I also still dream of living
hoping to be happy
living and alive
But if I am to die
let it be on a glorious day
and with a blink of an eye
I hope to breathe my last
knowing that I did
while standing steadfast

Updates...

I hate my Neurologist… I waited like two hours to see the guy and he brushes me off in what seemed to me like an impatient manner telling me that I just need to continue with my medications. Since he didn’t see anything wrong with my EEG results he pronounced that I was just suffering from Migraines. It was more like a sentence to a life of suffering and torment since there is no cure for it.

It seems to me that doctors are not particularly eager to see patients who are referred by their HMO’s, and I think that is because they are not paid outright and they would have to wait till all the paperwork is processed and stuff. Since I’m on the topic, I also hate it when doctors prescribe those absurdly expensive medicines, probably because they have an understanding with some medrep who promised a hefty commission or a trip abroad or something.

I now hate it when people use the word Migraine when they are suffering from a simple headache. If they only knew what it really is, I doubt if they will use it loosely. These days a good day is when I don’t get a migraine attack (which is really rare) or even if I just get a mild attack that doesn’t last that long.

I spend a whole lot more time sleeping these days just so I wouldn’t have to deal with the pain. But I sometimes wake up with a really bad headache, and it reminds me of the reality, that I now have to live with this.

This weekend has been Maddening. I met up with an old high school friend last Friday. I knew when I got that text message that she was having problems again. I sometimes wonder if I have a sign on my forehead saying “call me if you need help!” Its funny how some friends only call me when they are in trouble or in need of something. I had no intention to… but I somehow got my self into trouble because of that. It’s a bit complicated and I now need to find a good exit strategy.

I spent Saturday teaching First Aid to a bunch of kids. Now when I say kids I mean college students, applicants actually to my old college org. It was productive but a bit tiring specially since I didn’t get much sleep the night before. There was also this one particular girl who for some reason seems to feel so uneasy around me. I don’t know if she is of afraid of me or if it’s something else, but it’s obvious that she is uncomfortable around me. I think its only fair that I mention that I do have a reputation for being strict and uncompromising during trainings and I have this style that intimidates a lot of people. Oh well it’s her problem…

Migraine Boy!!!

I had a little chat with a Neurologist last week and he said that my symptoms indicate that I may have Migraine. He prescribed some medication to prevent and relieve the pain the pain caused by Migraines and at the same time he ordered an Electroencephalogram (EEG) test be conducted just to be sure.

I had 22 electrodes pasted on my head last Tuesday to measure my brains electrical activity. It was actually uneventful except for the fact that the receptionist and nurses at that place where I had an EEG were all quite pretty. I actually thought to my self, what if I suddenly start singing “Ale nasa langit na ba ako? Mama kayo po ba si San Pedro? Ok lang sa akin kung ako’y deadbol na basta’t ikaw ang lagi kong kasama…”

People are really helpful and they have the most interesting theories as to the cause of my freaking headaches. Here are a few:

1. Pressure on some nerve on my head… My tita suggested using a different pillow.

2. Cancer or some kind of tumor… My friend actually said something like “that looks serious man”, and actually suggested I make up with people who I am not in good terms with. Duh!

3. Aneurysm… My cousin actually said that he had a friend who died of similar causes… Thanks! That helps!

4. Parasites… The guy who said this one is a Biology major, so it’s understandable.

5. Worms… from eating too much tuna sashimi… I will tolerate the pain but I will not give up Tuna sashimi!

Then again there is El who said “kulang ka lang sa climb… pahiram ng tent mo kung hindi ka sasama ha.”

Faced with one’s own mortality and/or the prospect of life lived in pain a person tends to become a bit introspective. But I don’t think I should loose my sense of humor just yet.

Told in Ordinary Language

everything that was said
keeps running through my head
in simple strokes and ordinary language
all told in hushed voices
punctuated by an occasional scream

We knew it was complicated
A line was drawn
But it was too quickly blurred
and soon after it faded
until there was nothing
nothing but the thrill and excitement
pulse beating and life surging

I asked her a question
even if I already knew the answer
What we were and who I am
but it doesn’t really matter
we need not give it a name
we dont have to say it
we need only delight
in the subtle pleasure of every touch
and every moment spent together

seemingly uncertain of her reasons
tentative in her actions
she says one thing and mean another
she unties her guilt
embracing all there is

curious, definitely
questions, way too many
regrets, maybe
but not now
for now we live
grab what we can reach
make do with what time we have
and throw caution to the wind