Ron's World!

The Devil in my Reading List

2006-09-17T23:33:00.000+08:00

There is nothing like breaching open the cover of a book while comfortably seated on my bed with the lights turned off and the room illuminated only by a cheap reading lamp. No TV, no radio, and no computer. It’s like watching a movie wherein you open your mind to whatever it is you are about to immerse yourself into. It might require the suspension of disbelief or the suspension of judgment but unlike a movie I dictate the pace.

I am not really a lover of works of fiction I would much rather pick up something whose context is historical in nature. My recent foray at the recent Book Fair held at the World Trade Center probably illustrates my preference. I shunned the huge sections gobbled up by Powerbooks, National Book Store, and Fully Booked and found a gold mine with the small and simple booth of the National Historical Institute (NHI). I was beside my self with joy when I found the Memoirs of General Atemio Ricarte that I just had to tell someone about it. I texted a friend who replied with: “Ok, I won’t even ask who that is.”

My loot that day included 4 books that have been reprinted by the NHI, the most recent original publishing date was in the 1960’s and it was written by Teodoro M. Kalaw (I think the street was named after him). The other 3 books dates back from 1899 to 1908.

My preference was once described by a friend of mine as reading up on a lot of trivia. I guess there is some truth in that since talking about the military strategy of the Katipunan in Cavite in 1896 wont get you any “pogi” points when you’re trying to impress a girl while seated somewhere in Libis or Metrowalk while sipping a mocha frap. You would probably get that “oohh, that’s interesting” look as she frantically texts a friend to put into motion one of her prepared escape plans.

I do try to create a semblance of balance and sanity by reading the more mainstream and popular books. Like everybody else, I do read Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Da Vinci Code, and what have you. Like every body else I am often on the lookout for something new or something different, I’ve always said that I’d like to expand my horizons and see things from different perspectives and to do that you have to be willing to try something new.

I’ve seen it a few times in the shelves of Powerbooks and I know it has been made into a movie but it wasn’t something that I seriously considered reading. I heard some people talking about it in the office and I made the mistake of asking if the book was any good and if it was actually worth reading. Big mistake! I soon found a copy placed on my desk by a co-worker with the explicit instructions that I should finish it before August 30 because it would be showing in theaters by then.

I am talking about The Devil Wears Prada… A book about a girl who works for an impossible boss at the world’s most “fabulous” fashion magazine… So it’s a lot of girl stuff set in the world of fashion… Ok, so it’s not my usual fare. I did ask for something different and I guess this really is well, different. My mind went on overdrive thinking how such a book could possibly prove tolerable for a guy who hates shopping and who has absolutely no fashion sense. I could also just imagine how people who know me would react, it’s was sooo not me… It was with a lot skepticism that I picked up the book.

I am happy to report that I survived my exposure to “Chicklit” with no visible injuries or any lasting side effects despite the fact that there was no violence, conspiracy, or controversy I was able to get through it without suffering from nausea nor falling asleep. I’d even say that it wasn’t so bad, it wasn’t just about fashion, it was really about a person struggling with a difficult job in an environment she wasn’t really accustomed to, a place where a lot of people doubted her abilities and were often outright hostile. I can’t say I can really relate but it paints a picture of just how difficult and complicated a situation could be and it’s given me a glimpse on how a girl might think given a particular situation. I should have taken notes…

Saturn Return

2006-09-10T23:25:00.000+08:00

I didn’t expect much when I decided to buy this book called The King of Nothing To Do by Luis Katigbak, I was perusing the books displayed at UP’s booth during the recent Book Fair at the World Trade Center when I came across this particular book. It was just a compilation of short essays or columns by this writer and all I hoped for was to pick up some ideas about writing short essays and maybe help me get back into the groove of writing in my blog or at the very least get some laugh out of it. As it turns out Luis Katigbak is actually a prolific writer who have won several awards like the Palanca, and he graduated from UP and that comes with the honor of being given the benefit of a doubt that you are not a Neanderthal.

Well he wasn’t, I actually found my self, jotting down words that I would later look up in an online dictionary. Yes, I admit my vocabulary is limited compared to this guy. The stuff he writes about is typically light and the type that doesn’t require much research, but they were amusing and I’d say a welcome change of pace. But I did come across an article whose topic I had never even heard off and it got my attention, it was about The Saturn Return.

Though it was well explained in the article I felt the need to do a little bit more reading about it using google. My interest was spurred by the fact that I am at that time of my life when Saturn has returned.

Wikipedia describes The Saturn Return as:

The Saturn Return is the astrological phenomenon that occurs in a person's natal chart at approximately 28-30 years old. The planet Saturn takes approximately 29.5 years to orbit the Sun; when it returns to the exact degree along the ecliptic it occupied at the time of a person's birth this is referred to as "The Saturn Return," "The Return of Saturn," or simply "Saturn Return."

Saturn is symbolically/astrologically associated with time, challenge, fear, doubt, confusion, difficulty, seriousness, heaviness, and hard lessons, among other more positive things such as structure, significance, accomplishment, reflection, power, prestige, maturity, and order -- this is why astrologers believe that the thirtieth birthday is such a major rite of passage and is considered by many astrologers to mark the "true beginning" of adulthood, self-evaluation, independence, responsibility, ambition, and full maturation.

I was in Starbucks with my old buddies from college, Tuesday and Mayee, waiting out the heavy traffic caused by the heavy rains. As usual we were ranting about the small injustices and ironies that was common in our respective work places and it was at that point when I decided to tell them about Saturn Return. It just seems appropriate to talk about this thing since we are all in the midst of this Astrological phenomenon. If such a thing was true then we can blame all the troubles and little failures in our lives on this cosmic event as if there was a grand conspiracy or something. The conclusion that if something goes wrong around this time of our lives then we can handily blame it on Saturn was appealing. We soon parted ways with the expression “blame it on Saturn” stuck in my head.

In a few months I would technically leave behind my youth and become an adult. My excitement about this life defining moment that is supposed to usher in a new era in my so called life can be described in one word… blehhh… Yes, it’s utterly meaningless and denotes the most profound levels of indifference. I greatly doubt if there will be an Earth shattering kaboom to mark the occasion nor would there be an epiphany that would mark the beginning of wisdom. I think I can say with some amount of authority that my life is… well… Blehh…

I guess its normal to sometimes feel like the world is out to get you, or that everybody is better off in some way than you. So if your life sucks and you are aged 28 to 30 then you can just blame it on Saturn.

Pulag...

2006-05-01T10:33:00.002+08:00

I was on top of the world looking down on all the mountains and forests that stretched as far as the eye can see. I was standing on the highest peak in the island of Luzon, and the 2nd highest peak in the Philippines. Even though this was my second time to climb this mountain I was expecting that I would get a rush of excitement when we reached the peak. But there was no jubilant leap, nor high fives. I walked away from the group and I was by myself thinking, I knew I had a decision to make and it wasn’t gonna be easy…

If someone was to ask me what favorite places are, Mt. Pulag would definitely be included on that list. A climb up Mt. Pulag is definitely a unique experience. Pulag is made up of three distinct eco-systems. The first one which is also the one located at the lowest elevation is the pine forest.

Pine Forest

As you go up, the landscape changes to reveal the mossy forest. As the name suggests the trees are covered by moss and is often shrouded by clouds. I often describe it as something similar to an enchanted forest in the Elvish realm of Lothlorien, from the Lord of the Rings. That was the thought that came to mind when I first entered the mist covered forest. But when the clouds lifts, a very colorful garden like forest is revealed. The leaves of the trees seem to be made up of flowers and it’s a profusion of colors and shapes.

Mossy Forest

As you go further up, a different landscape emerges. You are now at the grassland where memories of Julie Andrews singing “the hills are alive with the sound of music” quickly comes to mind. This continues all the way up to the summit.

The Grassland

The summit it self is more like an island in the middle of a sea of white clouds. Once at the summit, you have climbed up so high that more often than not when you look up you see a clear blue sky and when you look down you see masses of cotton white fluffy clouds below.

My first trip up Mt. Pulag was not easy. Instead of jumping off at the Ranger station which would mean a relatively easy three hour trek, we had to start trekking earlier with full packs on the Ambangeg trail because the road was being repaired and our jeep could not pass. What was supposed to take 3 hours turned into a grueling 8 hour trek which was exacerbated by the freezing temperature that Mt. Pulag is known for. Exhaustion was apparent in all our faces as we made our way up to camp 2, which was on the very edge of the grassland. The wind was blowing with a strong gust when we reached the campsite, making the already cold temperatures even more difficult to bear. We did manage though with a lot of difficulty to pitch our tents and cook our meals inside our tents because it was just too cold outside. Sufficing to say I learned a lot of lessons about climbing mountains from Mt. Pulag.

So when we started planning for Pulag, I knew what to expect and I knew I should be better prepared. We were planning to go up via Ambangeg and then go down via the more difficult Akiki trail, which is aptly called the killer trail. The climb was slated for February, but I had started preparing for the trip by November. I went back to the gym to prepare my self physically and I started buying gear, mostly cold weather clothing. So when the time came I would be ready for Pulag.

February came and I was on the lead of the group and was having a good time trekking. The pace I set was easy and leisurely but it soon became apparent that not everybody was having such a good time and Pulag was proving to be quite a challenge. I don’t think I was remiss in telling people how challenging and out right difficult Mt. Pulag was gonna be, but apparently the preparations made by the group was not enough. Some people in the group had a difficult time with the trek up to camp 2.

The next day we broke camp, with packs on back we headed up to the summit and the plan was to descend via the Akiki trail. But it had become apparent that not everyone was ready for the challenge. The question in my mind was do we push on as planned or do we just turn back and go back down via Ambangeg and head back to the Ranger station.

In the end I decided to head back via Ambangeg. I could not in good conscience risk going down the Akiki trail in the condition some of those in our group was in. However, some decided to push on down the Akiki trail. It was a sad moment because our group had to split up since around half would proceed down Akiki while the rest was going back down Ambangeg.

The trek back to the Ranger station made it apparent that I probably made the right decision, because even that wasn’t easy for some of us. Everything turned out well in the end, as we all met up again at the DENR office in the town of Bokod (Benguet). Our group headed back to Baguio, reunited.

Mt. Pulag once again taught me a lot of lessons about climbing mountains. The second time around it also taught me a lot about people, about my self, responsibility, making decisions, and about looking at the bigger picture.

Since I wasn’t able to visit the Akiki trail, I made a personal decision that another visit to Pulag was in order. I don’t think Mt. Pulag is a mountain that one climbs and conquers; it is a place you visit like a place of pilgrimage where one goes for more than just the view.

To know more about climbing Mt. Pulag just click on this link: Mt. Pulag

Going Under...

2006-04-27T09:16:00.002+08:00

There comes a point when even hiking up mountains and diving down the ocean doesn’t seem to be enough to satisfy one’s craving for some action and excitement. I wanted something more, something new. It was that thought I had in mind when I recently signed up for Under Water Hockey (UWH) School.

For those who are not familiar with the sport, Underwater Hockey is a cross between Ice Hockey and Skin Diving. A game is played with a 3 lbs lead puck similar to that used in Ice Hockey but the game is played on the bottom of a swimming pool. Instead of Ice skates, players wear a mask, snorkel, and fins. The goal is of course to score by pushing the puck into the opponent’s goal using a small stick around 10 inches long.

To know more about this sport just click on this link: Under Water Hockey

Bruised, battered, and beaten…

Thursday, April 20, 2006. UWH School was to be held in La Salle Greenhills, every Monday and Thursday nights, for six whole weeks. The first day of Under Water Hockey school seemed like any other first day in school. I didn’t know anybody there, and even the guy who invited me wasn’t around. But everybody was friendly and I had this conceited notion that I can easily handle this sport. I saw my self as a relatively good swimmer, and I have been skin diving and SCUBA diving for some time now. So I thought this should be easy… My delusions quickly faded when I saw the attendance sheet and realized that almost everybody there was also into skin diving and SCUBA. Out the window went my perceived advantage.

We were issued some safety equipment like a swimming cap with plastic ear cups to avoid ruptured ear drums in case of collisions or something. We were also given a mouth piece that fits over the snorkel to avoid loosing your teeth when the game gets rough. Finally we had to wear gloves to protect the hand from the pool’s bottom and from other player’s UWH sticks. I thought any game with this much safety equipment has to be interesting.

After some drills we were quickly instructed to take up positions for an actual game. It was six on six and I was tasked to play the right wing position. Then we were off… It was chaos as we dived down and tried to push that heavy puck across the bottom of the pool. The game dragged on and it wasn’t easy. At one point I had my mask knocked out of place and my snorkel forced out of my mouth. I was gasping for breath while in the water and it felt like I was on the verge of drowning the whole time. In the end despite our best effort we lost and thus I went home bruised, battered, beaten, nearly drowned, and I had a terrible head ache. But I had fun, and I wanted more…

Goal!!!

I typically hate Mondays but this particular Monday was different since I had UWH to look forward to. The sun finally set and evening came. School was in session. We were taught the basics of puck handling and we were made to do land drills with a can of tuna instead of an actual puck. After that we were made to count off 1 to 4 and grouped into teams, we then went into the pool to do the exercises under water using an actual puck. It wasn’t easy coz the darn puck was so damned heavy.

After the drills the different groups were pitted against each other in an under water relay race pushing the puck across the bottom of the pool. Our team of six was composed of 2 guys and four girls with varying skill levels. Once again we lost…

With the little time we had left it was decided that we were to have game and it would be a race to 2. I was assigned the left back position and my job was to defend against our opponent's attacks. We were told not to leave our positions unless we were sure we were going to score a goal, that job belonged to the girls in front.

The game began, and we allowed those in front to swim ahead to go for the puck in the middle of the pool. It was again a mad scramble for the puck and I hang back letting the offensive line play their game.

An opponent gained possession of the puck and I dived down to defend. It was a simple matter stealing the puck because that person was probably out of air. I had a puck with no team mate in sight to pass it to… most of the opposing side’s defenders were on the surface so I started swimming to try and score a point. I needed air but I thought to my self “you’ll have a lot of time to breathe later when this game is over” so I swam with everything I had and narrowly avoided the opposing team’s defenders. I scored!!! I let out a yell of jubilation as I surfaced... damn that felt good…

We were sent back to our positions and we went at it again. This time around Mario who was the center back dived in and quickly scored another point. The game was over, and we won 2-0.

If I was bruised, battered, and beaten on the first day of school, the 2nd day was perfect. I still had some bruises but I was able to score my first ever goal in UWH and we won the game. I was happy… and I haven’t felt that way in very long time. I was humming U2’s It’s a Beautiful Day while driving home and the feeling lasted till the next day… I think I love this game…

Tonight, will be day 3 of Under Water Hockey School…

Snapshots

2006-04-25T08:30:00.002+08:00

I have not been posting anything of interest lately. Though I have decided to do so, at least my recent trips and stuff, I will do this as soon as I can find the time to draft something. In the meantime I will let pictures speak in my stead and give anyone who cares to have a look a glimpse of the world through my eyes…

This is a really old church in our home town Pampanga. This picture was taken early in the morning of March 25, 2006. It took a lot of effort and all my concentration to understand what was being said since the mass was celebrated in Kapampangan.

Evening of March 25, 2006. It was a beautiful night… This is a picture of Manila, Roxas Blvd., and was taken from the CCP complex.

April 1, 2006. Just a picture of kids on the beach, this was taken in the town of Donsol in Sorsogon.

April 14, 2006. It was the evening of Good Friday when I took this shot of the full moon, the river, and the far bank from across our house in Pampanga.

Click on the pictures to see a bigger image.

Walking Around

2006-04-20T09:24:00.002+08:00

Pablo Neruda

It so happens I am sick of being a man.
And it happens that I walk into tailorshops and movie
houses
dried up, waterproof, like a swan made of felt
steering my way in a water of wombs and ashes.

The smell of barbershops makes me break into hoarse
sobs.
The only thing I want is to lie still like stones or wool.
The only thing I want is to see no more stores, no gardens,
no more goods, no spectacles, no elevators.

It so happens that I am sick of my feet and my nails
and my hair and my shadow.
It so happens I am sick of being a man.

Still it would be marvelous
to terrify a law clerk with a cut lily,
or kill a nun with a blow on the ear.
It would be great
to go through the streets with a green knife
letting out yells until I died of the cold.

I don't want to go on being a root in the dark,
insecure, stretched out, shivering with sleep,
going on down, into the moist guts of the earth,
taking in and thinking, eating every day.

I don't want so much misery.
I don't want to go on as a root and a tomb,
alone under the ground, a warehouse with corpses,
half frozen, dying of grief.

That's why Monday, when it sees me coming
with my convict face, blazes up like gasoline,
and it howls on its way like a wounded wheel,
and leaves tracks full of warm blood leading toward the
night.

And it pushes me into certain corners, into some moist
houses,
into hospitals where the bones fly out the window,
into shoeshops that smell like vinegar,
and certain streets hideous as cracks in the skin.

There are sulphur-colored birds, and hideous intestines
hanging over the doors of houses that I hate,
and there are false teeth forgotten in a coffeepot,
there are mirrors
that ought to have wept from shame and terror,
there are umbrellas everywhere, and venoms, and umbilical
cords.

I stroll along serenely, with my eyes, my shoes,
my rage, forgetting everything,
I walk by, going through office buildings and orthopedic
shops,
and courtyards with washing hanging from the line:
underwear, towels and shirts from which slow
dirty tears are falling.

Translated by Robert Bly

The pasta incident...

2006-04-17T07:56:00.002+08:00

Lent is considered to be a time when miracles happen. People who believe in magic and charms often perform their rituals at this time in order to make magical potions or acquire powerful amulets. I guess the same is true for me…

My family all left for Pampanga last Wednesday for the Holy week break. I was left at our home in Valenzuela all by myself because I still had to go to work and someone had to stay behind to watch the house and feed Beauty, our big black Labrador. I got by easily enough on Wednesday and Thursday with all the provisions left behind for me. I also spent Good Friday in our house in Pampanga and only came back that evening.

Beauty, the only company I had for most of the week

Then comes Black Saturday. Things started going wrong early on. The DVD player wasn’t working and the only thing I had to keep me busy was my PC. I was pretty much bored the whole day and I was looking for something to kill time with.

I had 3 packs of instant pancit canton for brunch but I was starting to feel hungry late that afternoon. I wanted something different from my usual fare of fried ham, hotdogs, or canned goods, stuff I usually had whenever I was alone at home. I had a craving deep down, I wanted pasta…

Let me admit now… I can’t cook… Unless you consider frying eggs, ham, and hotdogs cooking, and even that I can’t do well. I’ve messed up cooking rice even if I was already using a rice cooker. That’s how bad I am.

But I wanted pasta… Yes I could have easily just eaten out or ordered in, but I guess I wanted to prove something to my self. That I can cook… I also wanted to prove that I inherited even a few strands of DNA from my Mom who is a great cook. There it was a challenge, similar to scaling a very high peak or diving the deep blue sea. I was going to cook my self some pasta.

I took a quick inventory of available supplies in the kitchen. I found a can of Spaghetti Meat Sauce but we didn’t have any pasta nor cheese so I would have to go out and do some shopping.

Shopping, another thing I wasn’t really good at… This task is not going to be easy…

I wondered if the local sari-sari store had some spaghetti or any other type of pasta. I would have settled for elbow macaroni but delusions of preparing a dish that is similar to Sbarro’s Baked Zitti with meat sauce played in my head, so I decided to head for the nearest supermarket. That shouldn’t be too difficult. Or so I thought…

When I arrived at the nearest supermarket I found the parking lot full… and there were several cars waiting for parking space. Damn! I shouldn’t have brought the car and I should have just taken the ever reliable tricycle. I drove around for a while looking for parking space, but I eventually decided to drive to another supermarket, which was around 15 minutes away. Damn it! I am going to have pasta for dinner!

The sun had nearly set and it was getting dark when I arrived, and to think I started this whole operation at just around 5:00 pm. I haven’t set foot in this place for the longest time… I’m not sure if I was still in high school or college the last time I had been in this supermarket. There were obvious signs of renovation work so I started to methodically go around looking for the items I needed. I could not figure out the logic of their lay out and I’ve been walking around a few minutes and I still can’t find any pasta.

I eventually found what I was looking for at the back of the place. How could they put pasta at the back??? I spent few minutes thinking about what to get. Should I get spaghetti or those oddly shaped things? I eventually settled for what is called penne rigate, still with dreams of Baked Zitti floating in my head… Ok that’s done, now where did they put the cheese…

After what seemed like an eternity and a great exercise of patience on my part, I eventually found everything I needed and I headed home. I did recently help cook pasta during our last climb up Mt. Pulag. Cathie and Mella would be so proud if I could pull this off all by my self.

Remembering the mantra I had when it comes to assembling a PC, I said to my self: read the instructions… It seemed simple enough… Use 5 quarts of water for every pound of pasta. What the??? Quarts??? Haven’t they heard of the metric system??? I ran around the house looking for something that had the English system of measurement and even considered getting the weighing scale to measure the weight. Everything was in metric… No one said I would have to use math when cooking, should I find a conversion table??? Damn it! I want pasta for dinner!

I finally figured out what to do after I read the instructions again. Upon closer scrutiny the instructions did say that the water required would be around 1 liter, hehehe. Ok, I fired up the stove and brought the pot with a liter of water to a boil. I poured in the contents of the bag and added a tablespoon of salt just like what the label said. I also added some oil, stirred occasionally, and watched it closely.

Then I realized, how do I know when its ready?

I can’t really tell the difference between just right and overcooked, and what the hell is aldente???

I considered calling up my mom but quickly discarded the idea since I didn’t want to give her a heart attack. I think she’d always had this fear that I would burn down the whole house if I ever tried to do some serious cooking. I also considered going online to ask Mella since she was on B-shift and would probably still be online. But that would have been silly… “If I can assemble a PC and set up a whole network then I could do this,” I told myself. While I was contemplating what to do, I noticed that there was a layer of what seemed like starch on the ladle, I was no expert but I think its over cooked. That settled the issue.

I drained the pasta and set it aside. Now for the sauce… Ok, this is my element, just open the can pour it in and simmer till it starts bubbling. Simple enough… I was feeling jubilant and mighty proud of my self until I poured the sauce over the pasta. Then it dawned on me… I had way too much pasta and not nearly enough sauce. It looked worse than the anemic spaghetti that was served in the school canteen way back during my elementary years. Oh God... I failed!!!

How could I be so conceited as to think that I could do something like this???

I wonder if Beauty would like pasta mixed with some dog food???

Is Jollibee still open???

I was wallowing in despair and started looking around for something to eat for dinner. Then it occurred to me, hey maybe this is just a set back, a challenge. Nobody said life would be easy, nor did anybody ever say that choosing the path less traveled would a walk in the park! I knew that the path of least resistance (having food delivered) was looking very attractive at this time but that’s not what I wanted…. I wanted pasta for dinner or die trying!

Ok maybe I won’t go that far but I wanted to know for my self that I did everything I could do, and that even if I failed that I did my best and I would have no regrets and simply consider it a learning experience. Damn! I’ve been reading one too many self help books…

I found a pack of ham, which my mom left for me since it was easy to cook and there were two packs of tomato sauce in the cupboards.

Hmmm, maybe I could experiment… This could actually work…

I found some garlic and some onions and threw them into the pan. I sliced up all the ham and threw them in as well. I also found a can of mushrooms and thought, what the hell it could work. I didn’t know what I was doing but I decided to go with my instincts. I finally poured in the tomato sauce and brought it to a boil.

I said a little prayer before I poured the whole thing over the pasta. I stirred with a spoon and it started to look like a fairly decent pasta. I transferred everything to two large containers I apparently had enough to feed maybe 5 people.

I tasted it and it wasn’t bad at all… I wouldn’t dare say great but it was good enough to eat and maybe leave some for my Mom, Tita, brother, and sister in law to taste the following day.

I grated the cheese over the whole thing and it melted perfectly over the damned thing! God it’s beautiful!!!

After almost 3 ½ hours since I started this little project, I was ready to eat. I was jubilant! It was like reaching the summit of a level 3 mountain or something like the feeling I had when we had our check out dive. I was walking on sunshine and it felt something like the first time I saw a whale shark swim towards me…

I am my Mother’s son after all…

I thanked God for this little miracle and I even considered going to hear mass the following day (Easter) to give thanks.

I had to tell someone! I thought about texting my friends but it would have sounded silly and they might think I was out of my mind. I went online instead and frantically typed away as I told Mella the whole story of how I cooked my very first pasta meal in between big spoons full of my pasta.

There it is, the story of me cooking pasta…

I learned a few things:

Canned spaghetti meat sauce is no good and practically has no meat in it.

1 pound of penne rigate is a lot of pasta…

Hot oil bouncing off a frying pan causes pain and one should wear a shirt for protection while cooking.

Read the instructions carefully…

Finally… When things go wrong or don’t work out the way you planned, don’t despair and give up so easily… Try harder and keep at it… It may not work out as you would like it, but who knows maybe what you get in the end would be just as good.

A Dog's Life

2006-02-18T09:35:00.002+08:00

On a recent trip we encountered this dog. It wasn’t particularly cute nor was there anything peculiar about it. But there was just something about it that prompted me to take a few pictures…

Hey little doggie… What are you looking for?

Why so sad?

Hey little doggie… Where are you going???

Epilogue

2006-02-13T22:12:00.002+08:00

5th and Final Entry in the Sagada Chronicles

Leaving Sagada

This entry begins as we leave the St. Josephs Inn which was our home away from home during the whole length of our stay in Sagada. During our short visit we have journeyed through the Echo Valley, famous for its hanging coffins. We dared to venture deep underground to marvel at the world beneath. We took countless pictures in Kiltepan and enjoyed the breath taking view of the big falls. It had been a fun and exciting adventure but this entry is not about Sagada…

We spent the better part of the day sitting on a bus over the country’s highest highway system called Hanselma. It was a seven hour long bumpy ride through a narrow and winding road that seems to be perpetually under repair or construction as sections of the said road is in constant need of maintenance due to the regular landslides and erosion. The highway was so high up that visibility was often limited to about 10 to 20 meters ahead due to the thick fog or was it clouds. We eventually reached the outskirts of Baguio and it became obvious that we were back in the kind of civilization that we have grown accustomed to, the traffic was bad. The scenery has also changed from sparsely populated mountains with either natural vagetation or vegetable gardens to mountain tops filled with houses. We were in Baguio.

We found a place where we could dump our bags and gear so that we can roam around the city unencumbered by our heavy load. We walked down sesion road to look for a place where we can eat. Session Road has definitely changed from what I remember as a small boy years ago. Baguio I guess has changed, it has embraced the demands of modernization and development till it has become what it is now.

As if drawn by an irresistable force we eventually made our way towards this new edifice that dominated the landscape of Baguio. It was like a monolith of stone and steel, we ended in up in SM. We had dinner at Terriyaki Boy and spent the equivalent of what we spent on food during our whole stay in Sagada on a feast of Japanese food. After dinner we walked around Burnham park and decided to have coffee but resisted the call of Starbucks and Seattles Best and instead sought out a local place. We had our fill of caffeine with orders of iced coffe, milkshakes, and other concoctions while we lounged on soft sofas while listening to laid back lounge music. We could have been in Starbucks in Valero, Greenbelt, or Rockwell. After that we retrieved our packs and headed for the new Victory Liner terminal which looked even better than the Manila Domestic Airport. We started the last leg of our trip on our way home.

Session Road at night

Dinner at Teriyaki Boy at SM Baguio

Just chillin out…

It is safe to assume that Baguio was not unlike Sagada Fifty years ago. I wonder if there will be a Starbucks outlet in Sagada the next time I go there? I dread the day when Henry Sy or his descendants builds a mall in Sagada. There a lot of issues that arise as we go forward in our march towards development. To what extent should we allow the “development” of a particular area in the name of progress? Should development be restrained in the name of environmental and cultural conservation? There are a lot of arguments that would arise including the right of people living in those areas to enjoy the comforts of modern living. No one can tell at this point how things will work out for Sagada, but whatever happens I will always have wonderful memories of that rustic and enchanted place and I have a lot pictures to prove it…

Let me end this chronicle of our trip to Sagada with a picture I took of a wild flower in Echo Valley, its speaks of Sagada, beautiful and wild.

click on the picture to see a larger image

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Gulugod Baboy 2006

2006-02-11T14:44:00.002+08:00

January 29 to 30, 2006. A year after our first climb together up this place, we returned to Gulugod Baboy… We brought new friends along, and for a lot of them it was their first climb. The newbies of the open climb last year had become good friends and are now the group leaders and the “more experienced” big brothers and sisters to this year’s batch of green horns.

I’ve always enjoyed the great outdoors whether I’m climbing up to a mountain’s summit or diving down a coral reef. It has always been obvious for me that it’s a beautiful world and we are living in a beautiful country. But sadly not many people get to enjoy the things I’ve seen and experienced because of the challenges involved in these activities. That’s why I’ve always been such an advocate that it sometimes seem like I’m a pimp for my kind of outdoor activities. I’d like people to experience the great outdoors in a safe and environment friendly manner and in the process I hope to instill a little bit more appreciation of just how beautiful this country is and maybe teach people to love this country just a little bit more.

But enough of drama, we went to that place to conquer the summit and have a great time. Just reaching the summit and beholding the majestic vista that was there for us to behold was enough to cause what I can only describe as euphoria in some of the first timers. The things they did up there is their story to tell. But as for me the highlight of the climb would have to be the time we spent taking pictures at the summit. It was the best spot to go wild taking pictures and to express long hidden artistic talent and creativity.

This is what we saw from my camera’s lens…

Click on the picture to see a larger image…

Some thoughts…

When taking pictures…

The best source of light is the sun.

The best backdrop is the sky, either clear blue or accented with clouds.

The best objects to fill up space is nature’s features like mountains, trees, animals, and the sea.

The best subject is people, especially friends old and new alike.

It really is a beautiful world.

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Tarak

2006-02-08T11:32:00.002+08:00

My muscles were aching all over, sweating profusely, bearing a very heavy load, and near exhaustion. It is these times when you ask your self why do I climb these darn mountains. Our destination was the Tarak Ridge on Mt. Mariveles, in Bataan. We spent the most part of our day on a long arduous trek through winding trails going up and down under the forest canopy. We took a much-needed one-hour lunch break near the Papaya river and then proceeded to the second part of our trek up the ridge. We were now on a near vertical climb on a very steep trail heading up. We had to rest every few minutes because of the trail’s difficulty. Our guide had long since left us on our own saying that it would be easy finding the campsite and Vince was insisting that we only rest for three minutes for every ten minutes we spend walking or should I say climbing. Tarak wasn’t easy at all…

We had arrived in the town of Balangga, in the provice of Bataan by bus in two batches the night before and we spent the night in Gino’s house. The plan was to arrive in Bataan on the evening of December 3, 2005 so that we could get some rest before we tackle the challenge ahead, which was Tarak. Tarak is the name of a ridge on Mt. Mariveles in Bataan and it is a considered a level 2 climb. It normally takes 7 to 8 hours of difficult trekking in order to reach the ridge. The ridge it self was open and exposed to strong winds and it is barely large enough to be a campsite. As if the climb it self wasn’t difficult enough, we have been warned by a friend of mine named Conch that he got Typhoid and Dengue after climbing Tarak.

The team out to conquer Tarak was composed of Yano, Vince, Park, JC, Jeff, Lester, Noah, Gino, and my self. This motley crew of would be mountaineers was out to tackle a challenge, which we may not be that prepared for. But we were already in Bataan and we were determined to climb Tarak.

After an early breakfast we headed toward our jump off point, which was the Barangay of Alasanin or Alas-asin in the town of Mariveles. There we registered at the Barangay Hall and found ourselves a guide. We started our trek with the sun already high in the horizon. I was still clinging to the hope that maybe it wouldn’t really take seven to eight hours to climb this mountain.

Clutching on every tree trunk, vine, rock, and any other handhold I could get my hands on, I kept putting one foot in front of the other and try to keep moving up. I knew that we were in essence committed to this climb and there was no turning back. Relief would only come once we reach the summit. After hours of hard climbing we finally broke through the tree line and found a clearing big enough to be a campsite. We were at the ridge. Our intended campsite was a little further up but we knew then that we made it. We had a very good view of the whole island of Corregidor, Manila bay, and the town of Mariveles. The strong winds brought soothing relief to our tired and hot bodies. But it signaled what we were to face that evening.

The campsite was small and rocky so much so that it was almost impossible to drive pegs into the ground, I had to settle for tying my guy lines on to big rocks. When evening descended the winds picked up and a thick mist covered the ridge since clouds shrouded the summit. After dinner and a couple rounds of drinks we retired into our tents to get some rest. The tent was battered the whole night by very strong winds which made it harder to sleep, but since we were all exhausted from all the climbing we did manage to get some sleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night with the call of nature. I didn’t much fancy the idea of stepping out into that cold night with the howling winds but I had to relieve my bladder. When I stepped out of my tent I paused. The sky had cleared and I could clearly see nearby lights from the town or Mariveles, the distant lights from Manila across the bay, and what seemed like an infinite number of stars. The thought crossed my mind; “was I still on Tarak?” I could only describe it as magical. I was in awe and I could then tell my self, this is the reason why I climb up mountains.

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Big Falls

2005-12-29T20:54:00.002+08:00

4th entry of the “Sagada Chronicles”

I somehow managed to pull my self up on an outcrop of rock and imagined it as a ledge of some sort. I tried to grip the wet and slippery rock as best I could but it wasn’t easy with the steady spray of water coming at me on a vertical angle directly from the waterfalls. I was trying to climb up the rock platform at the base of the waterfalls and the only way to do it was to climb up on this slippery rock and make my way up till I reach the base where I could then stand upright. I had to swim a bit in order to reach the nasty collection of boulders that would surely do a lot of damage to my bones if I somehow fell or slipped down.

I spent the next few agonizing minutes looking for a suitable handhold that I can use to pull my self further up. But every crack and depression barely gave me enough support for me to cling on to the rock much less provide me with a solid handhold for me to pull my self up. With no solid handhold the prospect of aborting this little climb and admitting failure was becoming more real with every second that went past. That would mean sliding down, which by it self wasn’t that easy and a mistake could prove disastrous. It would have also been admitting failure and weakness on my part. As time wore on, the prospect became more ominous.

We started that day ordinarily enough. After breakfast we boarded a rented Tamaraw and proceeded directly to Kiltepan. Kiltepan is nothing more than a good vantage point from which you can take great pictures of the rice terraces below. We spent the whole time there taking pictures. The view was spectacular and we fired away relentlessly with our cameras.

After Kiltepan we then proceed to the Big Falls. It was something like a 45 minute ride followed by a long trek down concrete paved stairs and rice paddies that formed the terraces past a small village then on to a narrow dirt path. It was a long hot walk and I knew it was starting to take its toll. But all of that faded as we saw the waterfalls from a distance.

Since it has been raining the last couple of days, what we saw was truly magnificent. It was enough to make me stand in awe even if I’ve been there before and I’ve already seen that exact same thing. The pool at the bottom of the falls was probably twice as large from what I remembered. It required some careful footwork before we reached the waters edge because of the countless huge boulders that blocked the way.

Click on the picture to see a bigger image.

I decided to climb up to that platform as I did the last time I was there. I’ve done it before and I was confident I could do it again. I actually thought that someone might immitate me and try the same stunt I was trying to pull. Luckily no one was crazy enough to follow me.

I found my self stuck. It was during the summer months when I last tried scaling this wall, there was no spray of water coming from the waterfalls, the rocks were a bit drier, and there was a large crowd of people there. Now It was just our group of eight would be outdoor adventurers. It dawned on me that if something was to happen to me it would have been quite a problem. I wasn’t very confident of the first aid skills of my group. Compared with the last time, when I was there with college friends from UP Red Cross Youth. I was confident that I was with people who were highly trained, very competent, and experienced with administering first aid. This time around I would probably have to tell them what to do.

I was at the brink of giving up. I could not get a decent handhold to pull my self up. But I decided to try a different method and give it another go. I used my right leg for support and shifted all my weight on my left leg. I pushed with all my might using my left leg to push my self up while clinging on the rocks for dear life. I managed to stretch my self high enough until I found a good hand hold. With that, I was eventually able to climb all the way up to my objective.

I was at the base of the waterfalls and the only way to get back down was to jump…

After that stunt we rested, had some snack, and took more pictures then it was time to head back… Just another day in Sagada.

Book Hunting in Cubao

2005-11-28T15:36:00.002+08:00

What to do in Cubao?

I was asking my self this question last Saturday afternoon. My class on Job Evaluation was dismissed early so we could all attend this activity called HR Exposed at our auditorium. People from Intel had come to our little school to present their Human Resources best practices. So I sat through as mush of it as I could until I could no longer tolerate the cheesiness and flagrant self- promotion that I just had to slip out quietly and make an escape.

I headed off to the new Gateway mall in Cubao for a pre-climb meeting for the coming climb to Mt. Tarak in Bataan. Not surprisingly, I arrived early. The meeting wasn’t until 7:00 pm and it was only around 5:30 pm at that time so I had a lot of time to burn. I decided to go to National Bookstore because I remembered reading in somebody else’s blog (Meyan’s I think) that they have a section on the fourth floor where they sell previously owned (second hand) books, and that if you look hard enough you might strike gold.

The building was under renovation but the National Bookstore had a huge sign saying “Business As Usual” and they were open for business. I quickly went through the different floors to reconnoiter the whole place. I found the fourth floor, it was an entire floor filled with Previously Owned Books. It was utterly unappealing. The books were very poorly classified and the place seemed more like an old library than a bookstore. It is definitely not like Powerbooks or any of those newer bookshops in Rockwell or Greenbelt. I had never bought a second hand book before and I didn’t really have the inclination to go browsing for what I wanted. I went down stairs to the regular sections.

I went around quickly hunting for some books I wanted to buy. I was looking for the compiled version of the Narnia Chronicles. I had already read six out of the seven books because I was able to borrow them from a friend (still owe you for that Jan) but I now want to have my own copy. I was feeling impatient so I just asked one of the saleslady. It was out of stock… I asked for the Vagina Monologues. I’ve already read it and actually have a copy of it, but somebody’s birthday is coming up and I intend to give it as a gift. The saleslady asked me again for the title. I said it again and she to repeated to me with an unbelieving look. “Vagina?” I answered in the affirmative. She gave me a funny look that seems to say; pervert, but she relented and she typed it in to do the search. I was thinking of telling her to read the book and that she shouldn’t feel uncomfortable saying the word vagina, but alas it was again out of stock.

I found my self with no book and with still a lot of time to kill. After a short deliberation I decided to give the fourth floor another try. I started systematically going through the whole place in order to cover everything. I struck gold! I found a copy of the SAS (Special Air Service) Survival Handbook, 2003 edition. The SAS is Britain’s elite fighting force similar to the US’ Navy SEALs and if anybody would know anything about surviving in different types of situations I think they would have an idea. I first saw a copy of this book way back in 1999, it belonged to a participant in a first aid class I was handling at that time. I browsed through it and I’ve been keeping an eye open for it ever since. The book was in pristine condition, looked new, it had a slide-on plastic cover, and I got it for just P 300. I was feeling lucky so I continued hunting.

I found another one; Black Hawk Down by Mark Bowden. Yes the one that was made into a Hollywood movie way back in 2001 by Ridley Scott. It wasn’t in as good a condition as the other one but what I liked about this particular book was that it didn’t have a picture of Josh Hartnett on its cover. It wasn’t tainted by Hollywood and I got it for P 200.

I had run out of time it was almost 7:00 pm. I reluctantly headed off to Gateway, but I think I might find my way back there again.

Underworld

2005-11-24T09:34:00.002+08:00

3rd entry of the “Sagada Chronicles”

Sagada sits on top of a vast network of interconnected caves that allows those who are brave enough to enter one cave and exit another. The Cave connection starts at the Lumiang Cave. A short trek down a valley leads you to this cave that serves as a burial site of sorts. There you will find hollowed out logs used as coffins stacked one on top of another. It was as if we were to descend into the Underworld of ancient mythology.

We had two guides both of whom carried these powerful gas powered lamps in order to light the way. It was of course pitch black and we descended down through gaps in between a large pile of huge boulders that led down deeper into the cave. We would literally squeeze into these small holes and struggle to find adequate foot-holds lest we slip straight down and end up farther than we intended and risk breaking some bones.

At one point we had to crawl down a hole and then use the rope to get down. It was at this point that Park actually started crying and she later said that it was because she has a fear of heights and enclosed spaces. I started thinking if she would have been better off with the other girls in Sumaging. But she did manage to get down and she did conquer her fears and complete the whole thing without incident.

The place was something straight out of a Hollywood movie and I was constantly reminded of the movie “The Cave” because there were pools and rivers. I saw that movie a few days before I left for Sagada and the thought of Vampires emerging out of nowhere kept creeping up inside my head. We encountered a large tranquil pool whose far edges was beyond sight, it seemed almost like an underground lake and the thought of paddling a boat crossed my mind along with the thought of hundreds of “Inferi” emerging from the water to drag you down.

There were also huge caverns with ceilings as high as that of cathedrals. We rested in one such place called the “Dance Hall” and it was really like being in a huge ballroom except that it was really dark and there were bats flying around. At one point we had to swim a short distance and when we emerged from the water we found ourselves at the edge of a ledge facing a huge cavern whose ceiling and the floor you couldn’t see even with halogen lights. A fall there would mean certain death and we had to climb up from that point without ropes and on a sheer rock, which was always wet because of the flowing water. In those times you just push the thought of falling out of your mind and just focus on the task at hand.

It was a beautiful place but at the same time it was obviously fraught with dangers. Going in without a competent guide would be almost suicidal. You can easily get lost in that vast network of caves that would seem like a maze. At one point our guide told us that turning left would lead you to a path wherein you will emerge somewhere in Echo valley. The only thing was that would take around two weeks. We were all thankful that no one got injured because getting injured in there would have been quite a problem.

We started at around 11:30 am and we emerged from Sumaging cave at around 4:30 pm. It was quite an adventure something you are not likely to forget. We rested for a while then we headed back to our inn. Egbert then told us about another route one that would take you from Sumaging Cave all the way to the Crystal Caves. He said that it would take around 8 hours and we would have to use technical climbing and spelunking gear. Another adventure, another reason to return.

Tale of Two Caves…

2005-11-18T11:29:00.002+08:00

2nd entry of the “Sagada Chronicles”

For most of us walking on pavement and seeing concrete buildings is a constant reality. The opportunity for us to walk on dirt trails and be able to see abundant plant life and naturally growing foliage does not come to us easily. We actually have to exert effort and do some planning just to breathe some fresh air. We climb up escalators in the malls and elevators in our offices and we go down basement parking areas. This is why we crave to get away. To climb up trails in order to reach summits that afford us magnificent views unspoiled by smog. Occasionally we also seek out adventures deep within caves, away from the comfort afforded by sunlight and come into contact with our pre-historic origins when man used to call similar caves, home.

A visit to Sagada would not be complete without visiting the “Sumaging” Cave (also known as the Big Cave). But if you want to know stuff about “Sumaging Cave” go use google and type in Sagada and I am certain that you will find references to this cave that will give you an idea what its like in there. Though I would recommend a visit to the Big Cave to anyone who comes to Sagada I had no intention to go that way again. I had a different plan.

After visiting Sumaging the first time I went to Sagada our guide told us about a more challenging alternative wherein we would enter one cave and emerge in another. It would take around three to four times as much time as Sumaging and is definitely more challenging. They called it The Cave Connection. There it was, a challenge, a reason to return, and so I did.

In the tourist office of the municipal hall of Sagada you will find all the information you will need to know about how much it would cost to hire a guide to visit the Big cave. But you wont find anything like that about The Cave Connection. The reason for this is that they don’t really advertise it since it is not meant for first timers and people only learn about it through word of mouth. The guy in the tourist office said that it is three times more difficult than the Big Cave and would take at least four hours.There would also be times when we would have to swim. The bottom line was it wasn’t going to be a walk in the park.

There were eight of us in our group and I wasn’t confident that we were all ready for the Cave connection. I asked who were interested but in the end I made a unilateral decision and discouraged Mella, Len, Selya, from joining our little expedition. I suggested that they just get another guide and go to the Big Cave instead. None of them knew how to swim nor had any experience in wall climbing, nor spelunking. It would be their first time to enter a cave. Vince, Yano, Ian, Park, and My self would be tackling the Cave Connection. Everyone can swim, had more experience doing this sort of thing, and I’ve been with these guys in a lot of different situations that I was confident that we could all handle the Cave Connection.

Wednesday morning, we had our breakfast and then proceeded to prepare for our coming adventure. I brought along a full sized knapsack something that could actually pass as a daypack. I packed my first aid kits, extra athletic tape, duct tape, head lamp, a mini maglite, and a solitaire flash light, extra batteries, hunting knife, Swiss army knife, weather proof digital camera, a sarong, a bottle of water, some food, binders, and other emergency supplies. I carefully placed everything in zip lock bags to make sure everything is waterproof and remains dry. Obviously, I was planning the activity with the worst-case scenario in mind.

We met up with our guide, Mang Egbert at the Municipal hall and had a quick briefing. We then started our trek towards the caves. We stopped along the way to pick up their equipment. They had kerosene-powered lamps, the kind commonly used in the provinces. They also brought kern-mantle rope, which meant that we would either be climbing or descending using ropes.

We soon reached the point where we had to go our separate ways. One group was headed for Sumaging (Mella, Len, Selya,) while the other headed for Lumiang cave (Yano, Ian, Vince, Park, and Me). We had a group picture of course before going our separate ways, we said our goodbyes and wished each other good luck. So our adventure began.

Click on the picture to see a bigger image.

Breakfast at Masferre

2005-11-14T11:38:00.002+08:00

1st entry of the “Sagada Chronicles”

It’s often said that the best place to start is at the beginning. But sometimes starting at the end will do as well. It was our last day in Sagada and I had encouraged (some might say coerced) our little group of adventure seekers to have our Breakfast at Masferre before catching the bus to Baguio. It was my second time in Sagada and we had eaten in that restaurant more than once the first time I had been there. Park wanted to eat breakfast at St. Josephs but I’ve seen what was inside St. Joseph’s and I just thought Masferre would be a more interesting experience for the group.

The food came in large servings, and they offered Filipino and American/European food on their menu to cater to their local and foreign clientele. The restaurant was relatively large with a very rustic theme that was both ethnic and artistic at the same time. One wall was lined with black and white still pictures from Sagada’s and Mt. Province’s past. The food was good but I chose Masferre because I wanted everyone to see the pictures on the wall.

The photos on the wall were all taken by Eduardo Masferre. These photos showed how the people of Sagada and the surrounding areas of Mt. Province had lived. It was a glimpse to the culture and traditions of a people who were not as affected by Spanish colonial influences. The culture was that of Masferre’s ancestor’s and they offered a glimpse into our pre-colonial, ancestral past. He took a lot of portraits of the local people and he also took pictures of everyday scenes that showed the indigenous mountain culture. Those were times when the warriors of the local tribes still engaged in head hunting. These pictures depicted a culture that would seem alien to us today but these are pictures of our forefathers.

Masferre was born in 1909 and his father was a Spanish soldier who had settled in Sagada, and his mother was a member of the Kankanaey tribe. He grew up in Sagada and studied at the local mission schools, he also studied for some time in Spain but he inevitably came back. He was largely self-taught when in comes to photography and he even opened a photo studio in nearby Bontoc, but he had to turn to farming to provide for his family. His works covered several decades and he was able to document the lives and times of his people at a time when rapid changes were taking place and in a sense he was able to preserve these traditions even if only in pictures.

Recognition came very late for Maferre. It was only in the eighties when he had his first exhibition in Manila. But this was quickly followed by other exhibitions and his works has toured the world and is now found in Museums all over the world including the Smithsonian. He died in June 24, 1995 at the age of 86.

I had a good though hurried breakfast and I bought a souvenir shirt and a pack of postcards with some of Masferre’s photographs printed on them. As I had hoped everybody did spend a few minutes looking at the pictures on the wall while we were waiting for breakfast to be served. I think a big breakfast with a glimpse into the past of how our ancestors lived was a good way to end our brief stay in Sagada.

Below are some of Masferre’s photos… I got all of these from the net, the postcards were more interesting but they were copyright protected so I didn’t scan them.

Golden boy

2005-10-31T20:50:00.002+08:00

Golden boy
Originally uploaded by ron2lopez.

With the right angle and proper lighting even a drab, gray, and dull colored statue like the Oblation might seem like it’s made of gold. I guess it’s just a matter of perspective.

Hiatus

2005-10-27T23:59:00.002+08:00

That’s what I would like to call my absence from blogging.

It’s been more than a month since my last post and I am still struggling to actually write something up and post it. I guess I have been too busy with school and work and I was out of town without internet access for a week. But this feels like I’m making excuses

I’ve started writing a lot of stuff and for some reason I couldn’t get my self to post it. I actually have a lot of drafts stashed away all over and even actually posted one entry and quickly deleted it.

I wrote something about Beslan last month, during the first anniversary of the hostage taking incident at a school in Russia where more than 300 people died, half of them children. I wanted to post pictures and have a link to an entry I posted last year about that incident. But seeing the pictures was rather depressing and what I wrote felt so inadequate and lacking in substance that it remains in my hard disk still.

The pattern seemed to repeat it self. I would type something up and not get around to posting it. I wrote something about photography after I got myself a digital camera and quickly felt a desire to start shooting with my old SLR and black and white film after seeing the film “Closer” where Julia Roberts was a professional photographer taking pictures using an old film camera.

Maybe I’m not satisfied with what I have been coming up with…

What ever the reason, I’ve decided to start posting more pictures in lieu of words and I also plan to write a series of entries about our recent trip to Sagada. Oh well, here goes nothing.

Vagina

2005-09-11T00:27:00.002+08:00

As I was scrounging through PowerBooks in MegaMall looking for an appropriate gift for a friend’s coming birthday, I decided without giving it much thought to get a book to read for my self. The worst was over in school and I can foresee some excess bandwidth that I can use to read. Then the question made it self plain… What do I get? Feeling a little crazy I decided to tear my self away from my usual haunts and explore areas I normally didn’t dare tread. I considered fiction, or all those new, old, new age books that became in vogue after the ruckus kicked up by The Da Vinci Code, not withstanding the fact that the Gnostic scriptures and all those things had been around for centuries. I moved on and checked out some books in the Filipiniana section and browsed a bit, all those management, leadership, and how to make money books. Then I saw it, having heard all the fanfare and ravings about the play, I considered it for a moment. I had refused to read it before specifically because it was so popular. But now, I asked my self; why not?

Now amidst all my books on computers, history, first aid, and war, will soon sit an odd and seemingly out of place stranger called The Vagina Monologues. I thought about it and realized that I only had two books that were about women, the first was about a young girl called Anne Frank, but that was set against the back drop of war and the holocaust, I did find reading her diary somewhat peculiar, as if I was looking into the private thoughts of girl. It was fascinating. The other was The Joy Luck Club and that was required reading. I guess I chose this book in a desire to understand the fairer sex a bit more. The complexity of a totally different perspective, the absurdity of it all, and the sheer insanity! Now, stay thy wrath…. This is my blog and I will write it as I wish.

Now this isn’t going to be a review nor will I discuss the topics covered or the ideas discussed in the book. If that is what you are looking for then go read the book! I have always considered my self a fairly reasonable and liberal minded person. But here and now I shall confess my guilt. I was once guilty of violence against a woman. I once kicked a classmate in third grade after she poured a bottle full stinking orange juice that smelled more like medicine than juice, over my head. I don’t know if she ever forgave me but she did become my S1, as I ran the CAT Corps during our senior year.

Now I’ve never really viewed women as the weaker sex. By all means I expect that women should be as capable if not more, in any endeavor. I'm not trying to be politically correct nor is this an attempt to win brownie points. In truth and from experience I speak. I had engaged in combat a member of the fairer sex in what is referred to as “Kumite” when I was student of Karate. To make the story short, she beat the crap out of me.

I was by no means a weakling, I had a nasty roundhouse kick that had on several occasion caused the hook and chain that held up my punching bag to break and for it to fall to the ground. I could deliver a side kick higher than my head, and I worked out on my punching bag at times till my bandaged knuckles nearly bled.

I could try to rationalize that she had beaten me because I was being considered for promotion to yellow belt while she was about to don a black belt not to mention that she was the daughter of the head instructor. I could also add that I had an accident three days before and had a lot of cuts and bruises on my legs. But I had taken down a competent brown belter before and I was no stranger to injury. So what happened?

Maybe it was her cute and pretty face that left me seemingly in a swoon laid vulnerable and open to attack. She stalked me as predator would its prey. She watched every movement of my hands and feet anticipating and parrying every half hearted move I made, while I could only look into those beautiful eyes and pretty face. I barely extended my legs to its full length when I threw a kick and I doubt if my punches would even hurt a girl scout. It seemed like all she needed to do was purse her lips and bat her eyes and it would have the same effect as a baseball bat wielded by a 250 lbs hitter for the New York Yankees. I did land a few lucky punches which infuriated her even more. Sufficing to say I was doomed.

It is often said the end is not known at the beginning. That is true here for I don’t really have an idea what I am writing about and why I chose that title. I guess this is an ode to women; strong and powerful yet graceful and sublime.

The Great Raid

2005-09-10T03:59:00.002+08:00

There is this small shop in Podium called Ink and Stone. It’s a really small shop that sells books and beads and accessories and stuff. Not a place where you would usually find me but I have been able to find books there that I couldn’t get in Power books, so I always make it a point to drop by and check out what they have. A couple of years back I found this book called The Great Raid. On the front cover it read “Soon to be a major motion picture from Miramax films”. I have read a lot books about WW II but mostly about the war in Europe, and I thought it would be nice to read something that happened here in this country for a change.

Fast-forward to today, The Great Raid has had its run in the local cinemas and it came and went without much fanfare. I had been waiting for the movie since I first read the book and when it finally arrived, I wasn’t surprised… it wasn’t really worth waiting for.

It had the hallmarks of a typical Hollywood film, it chopped up what was in the book and had the mandatory love angle. It also had CGI special effects to recreate the landing beaches of Leyte and the city of Manila during the war. The film also followed the current trend of taking a detached view and not glorifying war.

But in the end it still was a Hollywood film meant for the American market. It seems to me that the truth would have been a better story to tell but it simply doesn’t have what Hollywood is looking for.

The film left out Claire Fuentes who ran the Tsubaki club and a spy ring who worked with Guerillas to get information to Mc Arthur and even get some supplies to the Cabanatuan POW camp. I think she would have been more interesting than Miss “U” or Miss Utinsky who in real life was a middle aged over weight woman. The truth is more fascinating than fiction.

The film did make a lot of modifications for dramatic effect. The murder of POWs by putting them in air raid shelters and dumping gasoline on them to burn them alive wasn’t in the book and I haven’t read anything like that happening. I don’t think it makes sense to be wasting precious fuel when you can just simply shoot or bayonet or even behead the prisoners. There was also no barrio filled with burnt up bodies that day. I’m sure something like that happened during the course of the war but it simply wasn’t in the book.

The Alamo Scouts

The movie did mention in the end that more than 20 Filipino Guerillas died as opposed to 2 American Rangers. The film also didn’t show that there were more Filipino Guerillas who fought that day and considering the death toll and the fact that the almost 1,000 Japanese soldiers across the river didn’t get through, that means that they stood their ground and fought well. It would have probably been a route and a massacre had the Japanese been able to get through since they would have out numbered the Rangers who were spread out and was slowed down by the 511 POWs.

It wasn’t also mentioned that Capt. Pajota and Capt. Joson fought as Lieutenants under US command in Bataan and that they were operating as Guerillas under the command of Major Bob Lapham. Major Lapham was the guy who rode a horse to tell the US forces about the POW camp.

Col. Mucci and Capt. Prince were both awarded with the Distinguished Service Cross, and the other officers were given the Silver Star, while the enlisted men got Bronze Stars. Capt. Pajota and Capt. Joson who both played crucial roles, were both officers, and were actually members of the US Army were only awarded Bronze Stars.

Capt. Pajota was later promoted to Major and fought the Japanese in northern Luzon till the end of the war and Capt. Joson became the Governor of Nueva Ecija after the war and his heirs has followed in his foot steps and still hold political power in the province to this day.

Filipino Guerillas

The film did capture the spirit of the whole affair by admitting that the mission had no strategic military value but was conducted primarily for idealistic reasons. The US Government did write off the American forces along with the Filipino soldiers fighting under the American flag on Bataan, to be chewed up by the Japanese for strategic reasons. In effect rescuing the POWs was the least they could do.

Ranger and POW

Dive and Trek

2005-09-01T03:10:00.002+08:00

August 21, 2005, I along with Park, JC, Camille, and Gino went on day trip to Dive and Trek to go skin diving or snorkeling. We raced off early morning Sunday in order to get away from the pressures of city life and give our selves a much-needed break by communing with nature and visiting the world beneath the waves. I had planned to go SCUBA diving but unfortunately I wasn’t able to find a dive buddy, so I was resigned to the fact that my time underwater would be limited by the amount of air I could hold in my lungs.

Dive and Trek is a dive resort located in San Pablo, Bauan, Batangas. The unique thing about this resort is that it sits right in front of a marine sanctuary. Since the coral reef right in front of the resort is protected, it is one of the best dive spots in the Balayan bay area when it comes to the amount of marine life you will see. This also makes the place an ideal spot for skin diving since the reef stretches almost right up to the shore. So you wouldn’t have to go deep in order to experience and enjoy the wonders of the sea.

I have been going to that place since college and I haven’t seen a better place to go skin diving. Dive and Trek is where I first learned how to skin dive way back in college when I first took up skin diving as a PE class, It was there where we had our check out dive. It was also there, a few years later where I first learned how to SCUBA dive because it was also the site for our check out dive. Seeing Sarah Meier during our check out dive and the Miss Earth Beauty Pageant contestants during a clam seeding activity there makes the place…. Ahhh well, memorable.

Since pictures speak louder than words, just check out the pics.

Ready to dive…

Fish!

Is that you Nemo?

Feeding Frenzy!

More Pics

I think I will come back….

Bored...

2005-08-23T21:52:00.002+08:00

I’m bored…

I think I should maybe take up a new hobby like cross-stitching or quilting. Or maybe I should get into a new sport, climbing mountains and diving is getting old. Maybe I should try something dangerous, fast paced, and exciting like badminton or ballroom dancing. A new pet may also help alleviate my boredom. I’m thinking of getting maybe a turtle and I’ll name him Mortimer.

What would you do if you suddenly inherited a couple of billion dollars?

I think I would like to buy a really big lot in Forbes Park in Makati. In the event that there are already houses in the lot, I’ll have them all demolished. Then I’ll have a small “bahay kubo” built on the lot. With one of those rusty hand powered water pumps behind the house. But I guess I’ll have it tapped into Manila Water’s water line though. The house should be secured so ill have lots of “malunggay” trees planted around the lot and ill connect them with barbed wire to keep the nosy neighbors out.

Then I’ll have a lot of pets. I want a pet rooster, and in the mornings my pet rooster would wake everybody up by crowing like a crazy, ahh well, rooster. Since its Forbes park, my pet rooster should have a really cool name like Randolph.

I also want a pet cow and she should have a one of those bells round her neck. I think I’ll name her Ashley and I’ll take her on walks around the village while tied to a leash, and everyone will know were coming because of that bell. I’ll also get a pet pig and I’ll name her Peaches and she will always have a pretty pink ribbon round her neck. And I want a pet goat I’ll name her Tiffany and I’ll train her to go mehhhh or is it bahhh whenever a pretty girl walks by.

If you’re wondering why all of my pets have classy girls names, well I was thinking, I could always say that I have to run home because the “girls” are waiting for me. Hehehe.

With a house in Forbes you will want a nice set of wheels parked on your driveway. I think I’ll buy my self a BMW or a Jaguar. Then I’ll have the body shredded and have it converted into an owner type jeep, with a stainless steel body and all the lights, and sticker trimmings and a sign on the back that says “I used to be a BMW”. I’ll race this jeep in Greenhills or C5 in Libis and of course the unsuspecting kids driving their mom’s Honda Civic wouldn’t have a clue that they are dealing with a powerful car on steroids disguised as a owner type jeep. I’ll definitely beat the crap out of these kids and take all of their lunch money.

I think I’ll also have a really tall skyscraper built and I’ll name it “Building Ko” so that if anybody asks anybody who is working in that building where they work they can simply say “sa building ko”. I think that would make life a little simpler. Don’t you think?

It might seem like this is all foolishness and pointless. But who cares… I’m bored!

And Puck said unto Oberon… Oh Lord! What fools these mortals be!

Affliction

2005-08-11T04:02:00.002+08:00

It’s been a long time since I last felt this affliction. I don’t know what triggered it but I feel it more and more often these days. The reality of this affliction remains with me and I am constantly reminded of it no matter what I am doing. I am reminded of it when I am at work or when I am simply sitting around reading. It comes and it goes and chooses its own time in an arbitrary manner to manifest it self.

Maybe its’ triggered by chocolates then again it might be the coffee. I try to move like it didn’t matter, I try to ignore it, its complicated really. But sooner or later it comes to the surface, creeping like fire until it consumes all that there is. I loose focus as it becomes all that I can think off. It slows me down and I function with a marked decline in effectiveness.

It keeps me awake and pulls me away me from sleep when I do happen to doze off. When the symptoms manifest it self I feel every pulse beating and the blood surging through the arteries in my head. I am constantly reminded that I am susceptible and vulnerable and that no amount of reason nor logic will spare me from its tight grip. Its an affliction with no cure and it seems like I have no choice but to accept that this is something I really have to live with.

I still remember the pain from the last time I had been through this, and how it seems to engulf everything, reducing time to a blur. Pain that I had to endure because of this affliction. I loathe every minute that I had to endure it as it squeezed my mind, every moment I had to live with it was torture. Had I been a masochist this affliction would have been sheer ecstasy and I would have been floating in paradise or so it would seem. I welcome it like a dementor’s kiss but at the same time I am thankful, because I know that I am alive and that I still know how to feel. Despite my sarcasm, angst, skepticism, and paranoia, Human, I am still.

How I wish I was describing something else, that I was being poetic and merely playing with words. How I wish I am writing about literature’s favorite theme, that which drives our passions and makes the world go round, so they say. Oh this affliction of mine! I think I should give it a name. Its’ called… Migraine.

State of the Nation

2005-07-26T17:42:00.002+08:00

President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo yesterday, delivered her State of the Nation Address (SONA) and as usual it was met by massive protest from those who oppose her. But unlike in previous years the groups that marched along Commonwealth avenue is a hodgepodge of different interests, ideology, and motivation. These groups are all united in pushing for GMA to resign but they disagree on what exactly they want afterwards.

JV and Jinggoy obviously want to oust Gloria in the hopes of returning to power or at least get some vindication for their fall from grace. The FPJ camp on the other hand simply want to oust Gloria because they believe that the presidency was stolen from them. It’s interesting however how they see Susan Roces in all these. Do they want her to succeed GMA or worse make Rex Cortez, President. The crowd they muster are the hard core Erap or FPJ supporters along with the paid “hakot” crowds from the different squatter colonies around Metro Manila. These groups power should not be underestimated for they are the same group who stormed the gates of Malacañang and laid siege to it for several hours on that faithful Labor day otherwise known as EDSA Tres.

Then there is the political left. These are the Labor Groups, Leftwing organizations with Socialist, Marxist, Leninnist, or Maoist ideological leanings. This includes the Party list, student groups, urban poor groups, farmers, fisher folk, peasant, and proletarian, groups. This includes both the reaffirmist and rejectionist camps of the left. Though battle hardened street protesters, these groups have seemingly accepted their weakness in numbers by making an alliance with the trapos and pro Erap group to oust GMA, even if they were on the same side as the ones who overthrew Erap. What they want is for everyone to resign and in the chaos and power vacuum that will result, they hope to lead the establishment of a revolutionary transition Government.

The only other blocks or interest groups who could field such a large number of people are the large and well organized religious groups namely the Iglesia ni Cristo and Eddie Villabueva’s Jesus is Lord movement. These are the only groups who could muster one or maybe even two million warm bodies in so called prayer rallies. Though their effectiveness is still unproven when the need for tougher street protest comes to bear.

On the other hand the Lakas party has resurrected the cha-cha in order to give the people a palatable alternative and give GMA a graceful way out. They propose a shift in to a federal, unicameral, and Parliamentary form of government. I fear this option because I simply do not want the master trapo himself, Jose De Venecia to become Prime Minister.

That faithful Friday when Cory Aquino called for President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo (PGMA) to resign and when a significant number of cabinet officials expressed their intention to resign as they claimed that they were merely preempted by the President when she asked them all to resign, was meant to be the turning point. It seemed orchestrated and intended to nudge the GMA to resign or the people to come out in restaging of the EDSA brand of people power. But it was not to be. The critical mass that a lot of people hoped for and that GMA feared did not materialize. This is because the church refused to call the faithful to the streets and the middle class did not want to have anything to do with the crowds that were gathered on Ayala ave. in Makati. Middle class apathy or maybe we’ve had enough of revolution.

It seems we now have a stalemate with all sides unable to muster the support and the numbers that would allow them to grab power. Thus they are left with no other choice but to once again slug it out in the media and try out the different options like the truth commission and impeachment. Gloria got a reprieve of sorts and the different opposition groups find themselves regrouping after the initial clash. Would there be a coup? A compromise? Or more of the same shit as what we have already seen? What will happen next is anyone’s guess. We live in interesting albeit dangerous times.

Mt. Pinatubo

2005-06-16T02:43:00.002+08:00

We arrived at the campsite on the crater’s rim at around 8:30 pm, it was pitch black and our objective, our reason for enduring 5 hours of trekking with a heavy pack though tough unforgiving terrain, our prize, cannot be seen. We all knew it was there, and it would have soothe our aching muscles and gave some relief to the utter exhaustion we all felt, if only we could catch a glimpse of the Crater Lake. We have all seen it in pictures and on TV but it seemed like it was not to be and we would have to wait for the dawn’s first light.

There was still a lot to do. Simple things like pitching our tent, unpacking my pack, preparing dinner, and changing clothes. Simple tasks that seem all too easy but if you just endured a long somewhat difficult trek even the simplest tasks become very difficult. You know you need to get off your ass and start going through the motions but the sheer exhaustion weighs heavily and all I want do is just lie down and sleep. But I’ve been here before. I’ve hit the wall and reached my limit and still I was able to go beyond. Ok… I’m gonna do it. Get up and start going through the things I need to do. On my feet again, I threw a glance towards the Crater Lake, and there it was. Maybe I’ve regained some of my night vision, or the clouds have parted and some light from the stars is now being reflected by lake, or maybe the gods or spirits of the place heard my thoughts and decided to grant my wish. There it was seemingly in grayscale, I could see the outlines of the Crater Lake.

Mt. Pinatubo, the Crater Lake it self, and the whole way, starting from riverbed which served as the road and then trail to the mountain’s base was an awesome sight to behold. I am convinced that I would never be able to do justice to what we saw. Mere words are not enough nor will the pictures give a good enough account of what we saw. Riding on top of the jeep that brought us to the trailhead, one can see a majestic view of a land that seemed like a desert as far as the eye can see. I can imagine epic battles fought in the manner of Hollywood taking place in such a vast open space. Then there were the valleys carved out from the vast mountains of pyroclastic material deposited by the eruption of Pinatubo more than a decade ago. I imagined my self an explorer walking on an alien world, half expecting to see weird alien creatures to appear at any time. It was a place that skipped geologic time and was created in an instant in a convulsion of the Earth that was like the hand of God recreating the land.

The Crater Lake was emerald green in color and it was vast and pristine. It was quite a sight especially at dawn and even later on when the day’s first light broke through the gray clouds and touched the lakes surface pushing away the fog that lingered on the lake and all over the crater. It was an enchanted place fit to be the home of some long forgotten Anito or pagan God. We were visitors paying our respects. But we had no offering of food or gold but we paid our respects by taking pictures, and we took a lot, forever preserving the moment (or until the paper fades or the soft copies get corrupted).

There was a price to pay and lessons to be learned in this trip. I sprained my ankle at the start of our descent. I still had to walk back, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I normally would have simply wrapped my ankle with pro wrap and taped it with athletic tape, but since we were trekking half the time on the river it self that would not have worked. Instead I shaved my foot and leg and then taped it instead with Duct tape. This would later prove to be a painful decision because as I removed the tape it also tore a lot of skin off my foot, leaving it one ugly swollen mess. I applied a closed basket weave and double ankle hitch with the help of Jepoy, Norman, and Gino who stayed with me while the rest went on ahead. After my ankle was secured we started our trek back once again.

The trek back was long, hot, difficult, and painful even if they had relieved me of my heavy pack. Pride dictated that we keep a certain pace so that we wouldn’t delay the whole group. I was driven by my will and I drew strength from wherever I could find it. Determination and a dose of painkillers allowed me to keep placing one foot in front of the other till we reached our destination in good time, only to find that we had been left behind. But that is another story…

More lines...

2005-06-10T20:46:00.002+08:00

Sometimes fear is kindled by doubt

Purpose is blurred and uncertain

and you just don’t understand why...

Lines from Matrix Reloaded

2005-06-01T01:45:00.002+08:00

Morpheus:

Believe me when I say we have a difficult time ahead of us. But if we are to be prepared for it, we must first shed our fear of it! I stand here before you now, truthfully unafraid. Why? Because I believe something you do not? No! I stand here without fear because I remember. I remember that I am here not because of the path that lies before me, but because of the path that lies behind me! I remember that for 100 years we have fought these machines. I remember that for 100 years they have sent their armies to destroy us. And after a century of war, I remember that which matters most. We are still here! Tonight let us send a message to that army. Tonight let us shake this cave! Tonight let us tremble these halls of earth, steel, and stone! Let us be heard from red core to black sky. Tonight, let us make them remember. This is Zion! And we are not afraid!

Agent Smith:

As you well know, appearances can be deceiving, which brings me back to the reason why we're here. We're not here because we're free, we're here because we're not free. There's no escaping reason, no denying purpose - because as we both know, without purpose, we would not exist.

It is purpose that created us,

Purpose that connects us,

Purpose that pulls us,

That guides us,

That drives us,

It is purpose that defines,

Purpose that binds us.

Merovingian:

You see, there is only one constant, one universal, it is the only real truth: causality. Action. Reaction. Cause and effect.

Choice is an illusion, created between those with power, and those without. Look there, at that woman.

You can see it, Neo, yes? She does not understand why - is it the wine? No. What is it then, what is the reason? And soon it does not matter, soon the why and the reason are gone, and all that matters is the feeling itself. This is the nature of the universe. We struggle against it, we fight to deny it, but it is of course pretense, it is a lie. Beneath our poised appearance, the truth is we are completely out of control. Causality. There is no escape from it, we are forever slaves to it. Our only hope, our only peace is to understand it, to understand the "why". "Why" is what separates us from them, you from me. `Why' is the only real social power, without it you are powerless.

Look

2005-05-07T21:20:00.002+08:00

If only you would look at me
Even from a distance will do
Feed my delusions
Let me think that you know I exist
That you know my name
Then I may find occasion to smile
Maybe in a fools hope
But hope still

If only you would look at me
Then maybe I could find courage
I thought my self brave
Having faced monsters from the deep
Scaled the highest places
Trekked in the dead of night in unforgiving weather
Traveled through land scarred by war and strife
But before you I falter and fail
Unable to even call your name

If only you would look at me
Maybe I’d think my self worthy
For I have nothing to boast for
Nor can I lay claim to any measure of success
All I can offer are some incoherent lines
Phrases haphazardly gathered
without much thought or care
Pretending to be words with meaning
Detailing nothing worthwhile
Save for how I crave for your affection

If only you would look at me
Then maybe I could play the part
Of the one who would walk with you
Have conversations over cups of café mocha
Be with you when it rains
Hold your hand and look into your eyes
I’d hold your smile of more value than my life
If only you would look at me

I wish you would
Just look
So I may write a happy ending

Waiting for the Bus

2005-05-01T12:44:00.002+08:00

I live in a city of billboards
Where the streets are black
The air is gray
People are blue
Graffiti is blood red
And the street signs are pink

I stand on the sidewalk
Waiting for the bus
I used to think I was unique
Then I realized I was
Just like everybody else
Waiting for that bus

Tired of being alone
In a street full or people
I think I’ve had enough
Desperate for change
I vow to seize each day
Tomorrow I’ll try to smile

Waiting for the bus
To take me to the place I love
There I want to stay
Be happy in good company
Till then I just sit and wait
And watch others go by

Time crawls and flies
Maybe it will never come
Then I realized the obvious
A few had already gone by
While I sat and waited
For the bus to finally arrive

The Wedding...

2005-04-26T08:48:00.002+08:00

Family gatherings are events I’d rather avoid. Weddings are the worst. There is always the inevitable question of “when are you getting married?” Then there is the silly, not to mention annoying attempts of relatives at matchmaking. Duh! I don’t think I’m that desperate. Right?! I guess my mom has it bad as well since she has three boys, all of us in our late 20s or early 30s, and all of us not married. Every time she is asked when are we getting married, she just shakes her head and says “ewan ko ba sa mga yan”…

But one thing I really hate about attending a wedding is that there are these stupid and medieval traditions that we have to endure. One such tradition is the tossing of the bouquet and the garter. But unlike in the movies nobody seems to want to catch the bouquet nor the garter and wedding organizers are adapting by employing different schemes and games.

I have been lucky so far and have been able to avoid the dreaded garter. That is until my cousin’s recent wedding. The women had it easy, they were handed ribbons and the one who got the ribbon attached to the bouquet got it.

I didn’t even want to participate but my cousin, the groom were calling us by name. For the guys they planned an elaborate challenge worthy of those reality TV shows. They wanted us to do the limbo rock. As if that wasn’t hard enough they made us drink a shot of tequila after every bout with that darn stick.

Now, I’ve always considered my self as flexible but I also had some lower back problems before, add to that the fact that I haven’t had any exercise for the longest time and I had the disadvantage of being the tallest guy in that group. Hard as it was, I wasn’t about to give up with out a fight.

There were two or three girls in the bridal entourage who, had they been the one who had gotten the bouquet, there would have been no need for all these stupid games. A lot of the guys would have probably volunteered. But alas, it was not to be!

It seemed like everybody was determined not to be “it”. We all mustered every ounce of strength and athleticism just to avoid the fate lying in wait for the unfortunate soul who was to loose. It took three tries and three tall shots of tequila before I somehow touched the stick. But luckily 3 other bachelors were just as unfortunate.

There was going to be a run off elimination, finals so to speak. I was starting to feel some pain on my back, but I knew I still had a chance. My cousin and his bride were just up to my shoulder in height, and they were holding the stick below their hips. That meant that the stick was just a few inches above my knees. The odds were indeed against me but I still gave it a try.

I noticed it before but I kinda thought that maybe I was mistaken… But there it was the bride was cheating! It was clear as day, she lowered the stick even more after I started my attempt. I lost my balance and my head and back hit the floor hard, and I could not even get up. In the end… I lost… I had to endure the “garter” and a stupid dance.

I now have another reason aside from the desire to climb Mt. Halcon to get back into shape, this will not happen again.

Three Graduations and a Funeral

2005-04-25T10:09:00.002+08:00

I have a confession to make… I have never really graduated. That is I have never attended a tertiary level graduation.

I was supposed to graduate from my undergraduate degree in the summer of 1998. But days from graduation I found out that I still needed 3 units. Like any diligent student I went to the College Secretary’s office at the start of the second sem of my senior year, to check my status and I was assured that I was all set to graduate. But because of some mix up with my records due to the change in curriculum with our department I somehow missed 3 units. It would have been ok if I missed a major subject or something really important, but instead I lacked 3 units of free electives. The worst part was I was only told of this problem about 3 weeks after the summer classes had already started so I had to take that 3 units of free elective on the 1^st sem of the next school year. An uncle of mine had also died, and on the day I was supposed to graduate I instead attended a funeral. Faith it seems has a sick sense of humor. I ended up taking a class on photography from the College of Mass Communication. I spent a sem going around with an old SLR camera taking pictures and generally just bumming around.

In paper I graduated in October of 1998. But in order to please my parents I attended the College recognition rites in the summer of 1999. But as the dean said; only the UP President could actually declare us as graduates, thus the need to attend the University Commencement Exercises. Again I opted not to attend. This time it was because Erap, the then recently elected and now deposed President of the Philippines, was the guest of honor and speaker. I’d much rather spend my time doing something really boring or worthless than listen to that guy.

Fast forward to 2005. I have completed the requirements for graduation and was supposed to graduate along with 4,000 other students of UP Diliman, yesterday. I have already completed the required 21 units and was supposed to graduate with a post-graduate diploma in Industrial Relations. But since I still need 12 more units and to pass a comprehensive exam in order to get a Masters degree, it really doesn’t feel like I am actually graduating. This time I spent my time drinking with officemates, sleeping, and watching a movie on dvd.

Maybe next time…

The 48 Laws of Power

2005-04-24T06:40:00.002+08:00

by Robert Greene and Joost Elffers

1. Never Outshine the Master
2. Never put too Much Trust in Friends, Learn how to use Enemies
3. Conceal your Intentions
4. Always Say Less than Necessary
5. So Much Depends on Reputation – Guard it with your Life
6. Court Attention at all Cost
7. Get others to do the Work for you, but Always Take the Credit
8. Make other People come to you – use Bait if Necessary
9. Win through your Actions, Never through Argument
10. Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky
11. Learn to Keep People Dependent on You
12. Use Selective Honesty and Generosity to Disarm your Victim
13. When Asking for Help, Appeal to People’s Self-Interest, Never to their Mercy or Gratitude
14. Pose as a Friend, Work as a Spy
15. Crush your Enemy Totally
16. Use Absence to Increase Respect and Honor
17. Keep Others in Suspended Terror: Cultivate an Air of Unpredictability
18. Do Not Build Fortresses to Protect Yourself – Isolation is Dangerous
19. Know Who You’re Dealing with – Do Not Offend the Wrong Person
20. Do Not Commit to Anyone
21. Play a Sucker to Catch a Sucker – Seem Dumber than your Mark
22. Use the Surrender Tactic: Transform Weakness into Power
23. Concentrate Your Forces
24. Play the Perfect Courtier
25. Re-Create Yourself
26. Keep Your Hands Clean
27. Play on People’s Need to Believe to Create a Cult like Following
28. Enter Action with Boldness
29. Plan All the Way to the End
30. Make your Accomplishments Seem Effortless
31. Control the Options: Get Others to Play with the Cards you Deal
32. Play to People’s Fantasies
33. Discover Each Man’s Thumbscrew
34. Be Royal in your Own Fashion: Act like a King to be treated like one
35. Master the Art of Timing
36. Disdain Things you cannot have: Ignoring them is the best Revenge
37. Create Compelling Spectacles
38. Think as you like but Behave like others
39. Stir up Waters to Catch Fish
40. Despise the Free Lunch
41. Avoid Stepping into a Great Man’s Shoes
42. Strike the Shepherd and the Sheep will Scatter
43. Work on the Hearts and Minds of Others
44. Disarm and Infuriate with the Mirror Effect
45. Preach the Need for Change, but Never Reform too much at Once
46. Never appear too Perfect
47. Do not go Past the Mark you Aimed for; In Victory, Learn when to Stop
48. Assume Formlessness

My Professor in IR 226 gave us this list. It is very Machiavellian and embodies the teachings of Sun Tzu. It’s not something that you should share with your friends and colleagues especially if you intend to use it on them. Oh well, there it is…

Rat Race

2005-04-23T06:39:00.002+08:00

The last book I bought and read was Rich Dad, Poor Dad. I bought that book because a friend of mine was able to coerce me into paying P 800.00 and go to Makati on my rest day just to play this game called Cash Flow 101. Since I was going to do it anyway, I bought the book the night before we were supposed to play the game. In the back of my head I was kinda hoping that the game would be something like Empire Earth where conquest and genocide was the only way to win, alas, after reading ¾ of the book I knew it wasn’t going to be like that.

The game / seminar was held in a function room in one of Makati’s skyscrapers. The people who were there were mostly yuppies. A lot of the organizers and the people playing were Filipino-Chinese and the one doing most of the talking was from Binondo (he sounded like a game show host). I guess it just goes to show that they make money because they make it a point to learn how to. Anyway, it was a gathering of bankers and businessmen and the organizers were introducing people, by adding their educational background, what jobs they hold, what business their family is in to, and how successful they are. Sufficing to say it wasn’t the kind of crowd I am used to.

The ultimate goal was to get out of the rat race, start investing, accumulating wealth, and increase your passive income. It involved some negotiating, partnerships, and some ruthlessness. Unfortunately we had limited time and I wasn’t even able to get out of the rat race. I’d have to say, however that I did somehow manage to have some fun playing it and at the same time it gave me an insight into how I handled money. I played it like how I play Empire Earth or even War Craft. I usually establish defenses, build up resources, and attack with overwhelming force. But since there was time constraint, being conservative wasn’t the way to go. I ended up struggling to get enough resources before time ran out, but to no avail. On the other hand, a friend of mine who was bolder and who favored a strategy of early attack was able to get out and make a lot of money. I guess I need to change the way I look at things if I want to be rich.

That was back in February when I was also reading Sophie’s World. On one hand was a book that talks about Philosophy and all the great ideas throughout the ages and on the other hand was a book whose main message was that you should change the way you think and aim to become rich. There was an obvious clash such that I had to pause and reorient my self before I could start reading one book. I could simply not reconcile some of the principles and ideals I hold with the manner in which the author looked at the idea of becoming rich. But at the same time it was clear that money is very important and if you want to change things, having a lot of money would definitely help. There lies the dilemma…

Laborem Exercens (On Human Work)

2005-04-22T05:01:00.002+08:00

These last couple of days we have seen the news hogged by two things. The first is the death of Pope John Paul II and the subsequent election of Cardinal Ratzinger as the new Pope and the second is the incessant increase in the prices of oil products, which in turn has resulted in the clamor for an increase in wages and fares.

A lot of people know and love Pope John Paul II for reasons that these people themselves could not easily put into words. It is more an emotional attachment based primarily on the Pope’s charisma than love based on his deeds and actions. Yes, he did inspire the solidarity movement in Poland and he spoke against the evils of both communism and unrestricted capitalism but people don’t really have an idea what he said. I had no idea as well that the Pope actually had written commentaries on social issues until I was required to read Laborem Excercens (On Human Work) for a graduate school class.

Laborem Excercens was written on the 90th anniversary of the publication of Rerum Novarum (On the Condition of Labor), which was written by Pope Leo XIII in 1891. Rerum Novarum expressed the Catholic Church’s stand on the plight of Industrial workers in the wake of the Industrial Revolution. On the other hand Laborem Excercens talked about the "social question" and the meaning of work. It stated that the meaning of work can only be properly understood when the dignity of labor is taken as an underlying premise.

Here was a Pope laying down Catholic dogma through an encyclical that states that work exists for man and not the other way around. This was at a time when capitalist generally viewed labor merely as a component of production, whose standing is secondary to that of the interests of the business. He also talked about the need for a "just wage" that would provide for the needs of the worker and his family. This was to be the measure that would indicate whether the whole socioeconomic system was functioning justly.

I was reminded of these things upon seeing the clamor of labor for an increase in the minimum wage. I am sure John Paul II would have sympathized with them especially with those who are earning minimum wage, while working for companies who find every loophole they can find in order to avoid abiding by what is prescribed by the Labor Code.

Pope John Paul II was given credit for his contribution in the fight against Communism especially in his homeland Poland. He however lamented that he did not succeed as much in the struggle to check the injustices caused by Capitalism. I guess Pope Benedict XVI has his work cut out for him.

Spyware...

2005-04-10T07:57:00.002+08:00

If you do not know what this spyware is then your PC is most likely already infected.

The Microsoft website describes spyware as:

Spyware is a general term used for software that performs certain behaviors such as advertising, collecting personal information, or changing the configuration of your computer, generally without appropriately obtaining your consent. You might have spyware or other unwanted software on your computer if:

• You see pop-up advertisements even when you're not on the Web.

• The page your Web browser first opens to (your home page) or your browser search settings have changed without your knowledge.

• You notice a new toolbar in your browser that you didn't want, and find it difficult to get rid of.

• Your computer takes longer than usual to complete certain tasks.

• You experience a sudden rise in computer crashes.

I decided to write about Spyware again because I recently had a lot of trouble with it. My brother installed Kazaa, that popular file sharing software that allows you to download MP3s and other stuff through peer to peer connections. The only problem is that aside from the songs you get every imaginable spyware direct into your system. I admit I have been complacent because I always thought that Ad-aware was more than enough to protect my PC from these darn things.

Sufficing to say… I was wrong. Norton was no longer working, the system was really slow, and there was an incredible number of pop up windows. I tried every conceivable troubleshooting step I knew everything short of performing a registry edit. I didn’t have the patience for that one. I ended up reformatting my drive C: reinstalled everything and of course I reinstalled Ad-Aware SE and also Microsoft Windows AntiSpyware (Beta).

Now I am not one to praise anything that the evil empire produces but I have to hand it Microsoft, their AntiSpyware software is great. It has active protection that monitors and protects your system real time. I am however keeping Ad-aware simply because its better to have redundancy to protect your system. Oh… and always back up your files. A system crash is as inevitable as death and taxes.

This thing about viruses and spyware is like a war and we have to stay ahead of the game. It would also be nice if Capital punishment would be imposed on all these freaks who makes all these crap. But until that time comes all we can do is be extra careful.

Gimik!

2005-03-29T05:10:00.002+08:00

Sabado ng gabi
walang pasok sa trabaho
tapos na ang exams
text sa barkada
gustong gumala at gumimik
naghahanap ng magagawa
gustong maging masaya
nagbabakasakaling me makita o makilala
pero kahit kuwentuhan lang, ok na

sine, inuman, bar hopping
kung ano man ang mapagtripan
ganun na naman...
nakakasawa na, wala bang iba?
yun na lang ba lagi ang kahihinatnan
sa bawat bote sa bawat tagay
pilit na kinukumbinse ang sarili
may kahihinatnan may patutunguhan
ayaw tanggapin na baka ang buhay
walang malalim na kahulugan
natatawa ako...

naakyat na ang mga bundok
pinasok na ang mga gubat
lumipad sa ulap at sumisid sa dagat
may hatid na panandaliang aliw
mapa ngiti man lang kahit minsan
para makalimutan ang pagkabagot
sa buhay na walang katiyakan

siguro may kulang pa
mayron bang hinihintay?
may gusto bang mangyari?
hindi ko alam
sana may mapag tanungan
kung ano ba ang hinahanap
wag na lang isipin
wala rin mangyayari
tumawa na lamang
at baka lumipas din
sabi nga...
tama na yan, inuman na!

Dive Log

2005-03-24T09:20:00.002+08:00

Dive and Trek Resort, San Pablo, Bauan, Batangas,

March 6, 2005

We left early for Batangas and I spent the morning introducing Jeff, Gino, and Toni to skin diving. As always the protected reef was a welcome sight, a welcome change of scenery to the dreary life in the city. There was an abundance of fish and other marine life attracted by the very healthy coral reef. It was a visual delight since the reef was a profusion of color and life. I got bitten by a couple of clown fish again when I ran my hands through some soft corals. They are a bit territorial and they don’t want strangers coming near their turf especially when they have a baby clown fish in that soft coral. I hope Jeff, Gino, and Toni had as much fun as I did.

First Dive: Pinacle (Ligpo Island)
Ave depth:51 ft
Max depth: 100 ft
Water temp: 77F
Time
in: 2:22 p.m.
out: 2:57 p.m.
bottom: 35 min
Dive notes: Low visibility, strong current, just drifted with the current to the other side of the island. We just gently glided along what seemed like a sheer wall of corals and marine life. We saw a cuttlefish, but it was kinda shy and quickly swam away.

Second Dive: El Capitan / Ligpo cave
Ave depth: 28 ft
Max depth: 59 ft
Water temp: 78F
Time
in: 4:07p.m
out: 4:50p.m.
bottom: 43 min
Dive notes: Last dive of the day. Entered a small cave and I was amazed that it teeming with marine life. I saw a couple of fish that I had never seen before they had some brightly glowing lines around their eyes. The cave was full of fish and they were literally inches away, seeming oblivious of our presence. We were warned though to be very careful with what we touch, as there might be scorpion fishes inside.

I took my time inside the cave and swam slowly on my way up and out of a small opening on the roof of the cave. The light shining through from a small opening on top was the only light inside that cave and it served as a guide to the where I would have to exit. When I finally emerged out of that small opening, it was as if I stepped out into a psychedelic fairy tale garden on a summer day. I was surrounded by lavender colored soft corals that lay like flowers straight from a painting, it gave me the impression that I was waking up from a dream or maybe I was at that moment still dreaming. I was floating weightless and unencumbered by the worries of reality in a world unlike our own.

Blood and Google

2005-03-11T07:01:00.002+08:00

A quick search at Merriam Webster.com of the word Googled yielded no results. I am not sure if there is such a verb but I guess there would soon be.

I saw the movie Hitch featuring Will Smith about a week ago. The movie was ok, funny actually but the reason it came to mind again was the idea that you can search for information about a particular person on the world wide web through google. The expression “did you google him?” was used in the movie, and that got me thinking. Is there any information out there pertaining to me???

So I tried it out. Surprisingly I found an entry, which I think actually pertains to me. I found my name on the website of the Philippine National Red Cross it was a List of Blood Galloners, people who have donated at least a gallon of blood in a voluntary capacity. I have been doing this thing since I was in college and I have exceeded the gallon mark long before the year indicated on the site but because of record keeping problems and my own lack of interest in the whole recognition thing, I was only included on the list in 2003 as a Blood Galloner. Even then I didn’t even show up at the recognition ceremonies.

A lot of people cringe or even faint at the very idea seeing blood and even more at the idea of donating blood. The size of the needle used in the extraction process also scares a lot people. But blood donation is one thing most of us can do and it takes very little of our time and its impact is immediate and certain. It is one act that actually saves lives.

What made me want to donate blood in the first place was a story I saw on TV about a little boy who was taken hostage by a deranged man. A policewoman who posed as a reporter was able to save the boy but she got stabbed numerous times in the process. The story had a tragic ending because the policewoman died in the hospital simply because they didn’t have enough blood on stock to replace what she lost.

To this day a lot of people die because of a perennial shortage in the supply of safe blood. This is a problem that most of us can help address. Blood donation is a simple act of giving that will give another person the gift of life. We may not have super powers but we can still help save a life.

Why not give it a try?

Kyoto Protocol

2005-02-25T16:34:00.002+08:00

I never really took much notice of it until now. It was a bookmark given to me by Cherie some time ago. She is working for an environmental NGO based inside Ateneo. The NGO is called Klima and they describe their organization as a climate change center.

The bookmark contained information about climate change. It said that Climate change is a potentially dangerous shift in climate caused by human activity, primarily the burning of fossil fuels. This phenomenon is characterized by global warming, sea level rise, changes in rainfall, wind, and ocean patterns.

That is all well and good… But something inside me stirred. I asked Cherie who was providing the funding for their work. As expected they were receiving foreign funding, they were being funded by USAID. That instantly got me worked up. I think I said something like “what hypocrisy!” if they (the US) want to do some good towards preventing climate change all they have to do is sign the Kyoto Protocol. She was surprised that I knew what the Kyoto protocol was and she did agree with my out burst that signing the treaty would be the best thing the Americans can do. She however took comfort in the fact that Russia recently signed the agreement.

That was several months ago and this bookmark reminded me of that incident because the Kyoto Protocol recently came into force. But you are probably asking what the hell is the Kyoto protocol???

The Kyoto Protocol is an International agreement requiring cuts in greenhouse gas emissions like carbon dioxide (CO2) that causes climate change. The protocol was adopted in 1997 in the Japanese city of Kyoto, thus the name.

It came into force on February 16, 2005 after Russia signed the agreement in November of 2004, it was the crucial moment making the treaty legally binding. Russia's entry was vital, because the protocol had to be ratified by nations accounting for at least 55% of greenhouse gas emissions to become valid.

So far 141 countries, accounting for 55% of greenhouse gas emissions, have ratified the treaty, which pledges to cut these emissions by 5.2% by 2012.

The problem is that George W Bush abandoned the agreement as one of his first official acts after assuming the presidency. The US says the changes would be too costly to introduce and that the agreement is flawed. They pointed that it placed too much of a burden on developed countries and that large developing countries including India, China and Brazil are not required to meet specific targets.

This was not really surprising because the Bush campaign was bolstered by interest groups from the Power, Automotive, and Oil Industries. The US is the world’s biggest consumer of fossil fuels and also the world’s biggest polluter.

Its ironic that the US would fund NGOs who work towards preventing climate change in the Philippines or stop the destruction of the rain forest in Brazil. They are willing to throw away some cash as along as nobody bothers them and their way of life. They really love those huge gas-guzzling SUVs.

Valentines Day

2005-02-15T22:16:00.002+08:00

February 14, 2005

The noise dies down
Politics is slowly erased
Ideology becomes meaningless
Reasons are blurred
The dead rests in silence
While the living is haunted

Monologue

2005-02-14T14:17:00.002+08:00

I know I often fall in that trap of writing non sense that I probably at one point think is something of interest or important. I don’t want to appear like I am trying to pass my self off as a deep thinking intellectual. Nor do I want to appear like a passionate poet of some kind because I'm not.

Cliché, we often hear these things but never really get tired of it. We try to look for meaning out of some very innocuous lines. Profound we say, but in reality the exact opposite may be equally true.

Existential angst used to be in fashion but it took too much effort to think about why we exist. It is just easier to be a romantic and just crave or yearn for those things we cannot have. It’s easier to wonder about some silly idea and pass it off as brilliant and profound. Besides, some chicks really dig that. Pretenders that is all we are.

I sometimes think how much of my effort goes into trying to impress other people. Am I doing the things I do to make my self seem a bit more interesting than I really am? Maybe impress some unsuspecting girl and make her believe that you are smart, intelligent, sincere, passionate, and try to get her phone number and eventually get laid.

I want to get laid. No! I want to make love… I don’t want to go through life with a series of meaningless liaisons nor do I want to settle for anything less than true love. Yeah right…

First things first… you have to find a girl… a beautiful girl…

Fall in love… Then what?

Buy her flowers, chocolates… date… ahhh! This takes a lot of effort. Why can’t it be simpler?

You should wait until after Valentines Day so you wouldn’t have to spend too much on a fancy date, flowers, and all that stuff. Damn! I’m cheap.

If you’re a girl you are probably saying “what a cheap stupid Neanderthal!” come on… men bashing is a favorite pass time for a lot of girls. I can’t really blame you, having to live in what feminists would call a patriarchal society that frowns upon women making the first move must be a bitch. Reality bites! Ooopps another cliché…

So what are you afraid off? Do you really care what other people think? You shouldn’t worry about that too much, besides a lot of girls are really good at making their desires known in a very subtle manner and still retain plausible deniability.

Sometimes we say we are in love when in fact all we want is not to feel alone. We want somebody to send us text messages, an occasional phone call (maybe more if you are both using Sun), have a hand to hold when you’re walking at the mall, somebody to watch a movie with, and of course have really good sex. But is that really love. I don’t know. Your answer is as good as mine.

I wonder if I had written a happy ending to that blog entry of mine entitled “just another entry” would anyone have reacted. You’d probably think I was bragging. Tragedies sell better than happy endings. Just look at Romeo and Juliet, West Side Story, and Titanic. The search for the ideal love, the one that got away, and all those stupid clichés is inherent in all of us. People are so predictable…

So what is the point to all of this? Nothing! I’m wondering why anyone would even finish this whole thing. Maybe you need to get a life… don’t worry you’re not alone.

Ernesto "Che" Guevara

2005-02-11T05:54:00.002+08:00

Ernesto "Che" Guevara

His face is probably very familiar and can be seen on a lot of t-shirts. It has become quite a fashion item despite the fact that the people who wear these shirts are often clueless about who this bearded guy really is. Its funny but hey, its none of my business so I didn’t bother. Until last week that is, we were in Batangas after descending from Gulugod Baboy. Teth, one member of our group, was wearing a Che Guevara shirt. So I asked her if she knew who the guy was. She not surprisingly, didn’t have a clue.

Ernesto "Che" Guevara was born in Argentina in 1928. He studied to become a doctor at the University of Buenos Aires. He participated in leftist movements in Guatemala and Mexico and became acquainted with Cuban expatriates in those countries. He joined Castro's revolutionary Cuban army in 1956 as a top commander and Castro's personal physician. He helped Castro topple the regime in Havana in 1959.

Guevara went to create new revolutionary movements and wage armed struggle in Angola in Africa and all over Latin America. In 1967 the fearless Che Guevarra became an even larger myth after he was captured and killed by Bolivian forces while trying to foster revolution in South America.

This particular shirt along with a Mao cap has become somewhat of a fashion statement for leftist activists and revolutionaries, until the whole thing was taken over by capitalism. Che is probably turning in his grave, since his face has been hijacked by fashion conscious people who have no knowledge of what he fought for.

Going back to the last week’s climb. I don’t really care about Che or his revolution nor do I care what people wear. But in the same way that military gear, uniform, or equipment should not be used or even brought during a climb, I think the same should apply for Che Guevara shirts, Mao caps, or maybe even leftist music. This is in the event that you encounter a Military checkpoint or patrol. I think we should be very careful and not risk being identified as NPA guerrillas. Better to be safe than sorry.

Gulugod Baboy

2005-02-08T01:59:00.002+08:00

Life in the office can be quite a drag, suffocating the life out of you. Deadlines, issues, unpleasant situations… How do you deal with these?

You flee… Escape… Get away from it all even if only for a weekend…

We did just that on January 29 and 30. We went up Gulugod Baboy in Anilao Batangas. Relatively speaking Gulugod Baboy is an easy climb. It also has a spectacular 360’ view of Anilao. From there you can see the Batangas Pier. Maricaban Island, Sombrero island, Mt. Maculot, even Mindoro, Mt. Lobo and Mt. Manabo.

We specifically chose to climb this Mountain because we had a lot of first timers climbing, this being the first activity of the MSN Outdoor Group for this year. I also dragged some college friends along, namely: Aldous, Tuesday, and Conch. 21 people in all.

The tail of the group…That’s me, the proverbial sweeper.

One might ask why we climb mountains… Why suffer under the heat of the sun, risking injury, and lugging on your back an insane amount of stuff (My pack was around 50 lbs.) when you can instead just go stay in a resort where you have all the amenities you want. I ask my self that every time. I guess we do it for the sense of achievement that you feel after conquering a peak, not to mention the view is quite spectacular. What do we do once we get there? We take pictures of course.

Home away from home…

This is my tent. It can accommodate 3 comfortably, and you can probably cram 5 or even 6 people inside if need be. I had it all for my self because we had 12 tents even if there were only 21 of us. As the picture shows, my tent was a complete mess just like my room

My taped left foot…

I sprained my ankle four weeks before the climb and it had not really healed yet, I had to tape it to provide support and limit the movements that could cause further injury. I had gotten very good at taping sprained ankles, aside from the usual Closed Basket weave I’ve also added heel locks and other stuff that it now looked like my ankle had a cast on it.

Dawn…

Sunrise was much awaited. You can see our campsite abuzz with life waiting for that perfect shot.

Click Here for More Pics

Remember?

2005-01-28T11:49:00.002+08:00

It’s almost 11:00 am… I just finished my Quality monitoring load and I am now taking a few minutes to try and let my mind wind down. My shift officially ended at 8:00 am but I am still here at my workstation. I spent my whole work day Monitoring people and discussing issues related to performance. Its taxing work to have to worry about how 14 people are doing, listening to their problems, encouraging them to do better, trying to put some sense into some of them when they fail to see the reality in front of them, and yes even having to talk about their love life.

My social life is officially dead. Between work and graduate studies I barely have enough time to sleep let alone engage in any leisure activity. I sometimes feel like I am sinking in quicksand. A perfect example was last weekend. I spent the whole night working on a report for one of my subjects and I also had to study for a midterm exam. I finished my report at around 7:00 am and had to rush off to school. I took my midterm exam in the morning, reported in the afternoon, and I had to go directly to the office because I had work that night.

I guess I shouldn’t be complaining. I should be thankful that I have a job and that I can study at the same time. My worries are trivial I guess compared to what other people had to go through or are going through.

The number of people who died from the recent tsunami has exceeded 300,000. The relief and reconstruction work will probably take years and the psychological scar of this disaster would probably take a lifetime to heal.

Two instances of genocide were commemorated recently.

This week marks the 60th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz – this was the Nazi death camp that became the symbol of the horror of the Holocaust. There an estimated 1.5 million people were murdered. They were systematically killed in gas chambers and their bodies incinerated in furnaces. Most of the victims were Jews. Others included Gypsies, Poles, Catholics, homosexuals and Soviet POWs.

Recently Rwanda held ceremonies to remember the victims of genocide that took place in 1994. Anywhere from 800,000 to more than a million ethnic Tutsis and moderate Hutus were systematically killed by the predominantly Hutu government in a span of around three months. This was one of the most recent and most horrifying examples of ethnic cleansing the world has ever seen. The UN pulled its troops out at a crucial time and the world watched it all happen on CNN.

The list goes on….

I guess we should all be thankful. Life in this country may be hard but if we compare it to some of the horrible things happening in the world, I’d say we are still lucky. I just hope we learn something from history.

I guess I should feel better now, knowing how lucky I am. I wonder why I don’t…

Evil triumphs when good men do nothing...

Cerebral Thoughts

2005-01-22T21:01:00.002+08:00

Got a lot of feed back from my last entry. A lot of people were surprised that I wrote something like that. Well, all I could say is that people are multi faceted and sometimes what we see is not an accurate representation of the whole person. Sometimes there are things about that person that you wouldn’t expect, something that might surprise you.

* * * * * * * * * *

I bought a copy of Sophie’s World from Powerbooks last week. I sneered at the idea of buying this book way back when I was still in college. Being a Philosophy student, I considered Sophie’s World as something beneath me. We were trained to read the actual text written (often translated into English of course) by all these renowned philosophers, and it was very good training. At that time it just seemed absurd to read a book like that because I saw it as overly simplified. But after watching the Matrix Trilogy again, for like the nth time. I found my self, trying to remember who said what and asking what was that theory called again… I definitely still know more about philosophy than the typical person on the street but I guess I need a quick reference guide, something like “A complete idiots guide to Philosophy”. I had to take a deep breath and eat some pride but I did it. Now if only I have the time to read it…

* * * * * * * * * *

While on the subject. I had a mid term exam today. I don’t think I did very well because I really did not have enough time to study due to the fact that I also had a report to prepare for. In any case one of the readings we had to read was this paper by Michael Todaro on Education and Development One of the points he raised was the fact that the educational system of a lot of developing countries were not producing the kind of graduates that these countries really need. If he was to have his way we’d have more engineers and scientists, preference would be given to courses that have more practical uses like nursing, computer science, and business courses. These courses actually prepare you for a particular career by giving the skills you would need. Now I wouldn’t recommend Philosophy for everybody but I am thankful for my classical education in this particular field of study. I believe that skills (i.e. computer skills, business skills, etc.) are easily learned but developing your mind to think a certain way (rational and logical) takes more effort and time but it definitely has its benefits. Philosophy sharpened my ability to grasp complex concepts, it introduced me to a world of ideas that a lot of people could only vaguely understand, and my ethical moorings are now grounded on solid principles. I think it has served me well, it helps define who I am, and I think I am a better person because of it.

I love Philosophy and History, and most of the other Social Sciences. These may not get me a good paying job or may not be a good topic of conversation in a social context. I don’t think you can talk about these things to impress a girl but hey sometimes knowledge about these things are good enough reasons in themselves.

Anyways… Enough of this… I must seem so weird and boring by now. Oh well…

I just remembered… I still have a paper to write… I am already three weeks late and I still haven’t started it. The topic is: Why is the Philippines underdeveloped? Seems simple enough, but the usual answers don’t seem to really answer the question. If anybody has any bright ideas please do post a comment.

Just another entry...

2005-01-19T01:45:00.002+08:00

I first saw her in the library. She was seated behind a desk on the far side of the room with a couple of thick books lying before her. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail; she had fair complexion, and really cute round eyes. There were other pretty girls who I always see around the school in the library that day but she caught my eyes and for some reason my eyes always seem to drift back to her corner of the room.

That was the first time I ever saw her. Damn! She was pretty. I deliberated about approaching her, introducing my self and asking for her name and number.

What are you gonna say? “Hi! Your name must be Mickey cause youre so fine!” or some other lame line like that… Besides she is definitely way out of your league.

Hey I’m cool, I’m tall, single, and… ahh did I mention I was tall?

Save your self the embarrassment and just do what you came here to do. You have a lot of work to do, a mid term exam and a report coming up next week. Besides she probably doesn’t want to be bothered.

Shouldn't I have gone through all these crap, way back in high school? Shouldn't I be a confident young man out to conquer the world? I should be making her drool with my charm and witt....

Ok, ok… So I was either a spineless coward or a diligent student but I decided to look for the books I needed. I found one in the circulation section and I got the other one from the librarian in the reserved section that meant I would have to get it photo copied.

My eyes ones again drifted towards that little corner of heaven in the library only to find my angel no longer there.

She’s gone and so is my chance for romance and maybe even finding true love. If I only had the guts to approach her, maybe…

Dude! Get real man… a girl like that would never even think of going out with a loser like you. Besides do you actually think that a girl like that would be single? I don’t think so... She probably has a rich, good looking, commercial model like boy friend who drives a Jaguar or a BMW. Either that or she has half a dozen suitors who are far better than you.

You are one cruel son of a bitch…

It’s not me… The world is cruel and this is called reality… Welcome to your world…

I took a deep breath and sighed. Resigned to my fate I dragged my feet and headed towards another building because the photocopier in our school had broken down.

The place was dark because it was a Saturday. At the far end of the lobby in an obscure corner was a small room wherein you can find three photocopiers. They offered photocopying and even book binding services, and there I went.

I opened the door and squeezed into the small crammed room. Lo and behold there she was with a bundle of very thick books, which she apparently intended to have photocopied. This must be fate or I must be dreaming. It seems like it was meant to be. Scenarios started flashing before my eyes as I contemplated how to start a conversation. How do you talk to an angel?

You take a deep breath, try to smile a decent smile… no! Not the Johnny Bravo kind of smile, the one that says I’m a decent human being just looking for a nice conversation kind of smile…. Ok… I think I can manage that. What to say? Hmmm… let me see…

My thoughts were interrupted by one of the girls manning one of the photocopiers. She said: “sir! Kayo sir?” she asked me…

Instinctively I handed her my book and said “page 280 to 369 po…”

She quickly took the book from me and was about to start, then I noticed…

The pretty girl from the library, the one who moved with such finesse, with those round pretty eyes, my angel…

She had one of those big books on her hand. She had a piece of paper on another hand with a lot of numbers on it. Pages that she had apparently taken note of so she could have them photocopied.

She also had this annoyed and irate look. She wasn’t looking at me but I quickly realized that I had somehow offended her. Then I realized I had cut in line, she was there first and there I was cutting in line!

Arrrggghhh!!! What have I done! It happened so fast I didn’t even realize it.

“Nauna ba kayo miss?” Her expression answered yes…

So I said to the operator of the photocopier “miss nauna pala siya…”

And that was all I could say…

I could not say anything else.

A classmate of mine came in and we talked. It seemed like an eternity. When it was done. I paid and was about to leave. She was still there, she had more stuff to photocopy.

Before I walked out. I tapped her shoulder with one finger and said “miss sorry kanina ha…”

She nodded a polite nod.

I turned and walked out the door…

I saw her again later that day. She was walking ahead of me… going the same direction as I was. So I was in effect following her. I didn’t want to scare her and have her think I’m some kind of stalker so when she stopped I walked past her. I didn’t look back, and all I could say was how stupid of me… how stupid of me…

Highway Robbery

2005-01-12T04:17:00.002+08:00

The Manila North Tollways Corporation (MNTC) which is primarily owned by the Lopez family of Iloilo, is set to take over the operations of the 82 kilometer North Luzon Expressway this coming February. This would mean a toll fee increase that would be more than 500 % from the current rates. Highway robbery… legalized.

Under the MNTC toll scheme, Class 1 vehicles consisting of cars and jeeps will pay a flat fee of P42 for destinations between Balintawak and Marilao; and P200 for the entire stretch of the expressway. This amount takes into account inflation and foreign exchange rates.

What they did not indicate in their computation is the amount they spent paying off Government officials since the Ramos administration in order to get this project. It is also obvious that they are now spending a lot of money for PR purposes to basically tell the people that; hey you are all screwed once we take over.

Another thing that really shows their greed is the idea to impose a flat rate from Balintawak to Marilao in Bulacan. This is in contrast with the current practice of charging on a per kilometer basis. I live in Valenzuela and I think it is simply wrong to charge us a flat rate when we will only use a shorter portion of the expressway. It is obvious that they are charging this flat rate because they want to quickly recover their investments.

Now I never had anything against the idea of private sector participation in such things that used to be the sole domain of the Government. But the idea that the whole repair of the highway costs around P18 Billion is simply absurd. There was already an existing highway and up until the point wherein the Lopez group expressed interest in taking over it, everything was going relatively well.

Since the Philippine National Construction Corporation would become a partner it lost all incentive to do its job and maintain the highway. Neglecting it would justify the move to privatize it. The very people who were responsible for making sure that the PNCC did its job and also the same people who negotiated with the Lopez group are now top officials of the MNTC. Can you say conflict of interests?

One of the major reasons for the exorbitant toll fees is the fact the whole project was primarily financed by foreign borrowing. This happened during the boom years of the Ramos administration when the Peso was strong and it seemed like a good idea to borrow from foreign lenders. Then the Asian financial crisis happened and now they are buried deep in debt. It is obvious that Lopez family really did not have the money to undertake this project in the first place and they had to borrow heavily to get it done. To me it doesn’t make sense for the people to pay for their miscalculations and business setbacks, this is obviously disadvantageous for the Filipino people. Can you spell PIATCO in four letters?

The Lopez family will probably have their way because everybody in government is afraid of their flagship company, ABS CBN. We should remember that this is also the same family who owns MERALCO, the company found guilty of overpricing and was thus compelled by the Supreme Court to reimburse its customers. This is also the same group who owns the ailing Maynilad and Bayantel, both also victims of the currency crunch caused by the Asian financial crises and both passed on to their customers the cost of these bad business decisions. They should have been jailed for the massive overpricing perpetrated by MERALCO but instead the people in Government gave them another venue to steal from the people.

These are the times when I feel like wearing a Che Guevarra shirt and a Mao cap and yell out for revolution, in the hopes of ridding this country of these oligarchs and corrupt officials who are sucking the life out of us.

Dive...

2005-01-11T09:53:00.002+08:00

Standing on the beach looking out to sea is like reading a postcard from a far away place. To swim out is not much better. Not until you dive down deep into the sea will you experience what it is like to visit a whole new world that we only see in pictures or on TV.

Down there everything is different. The corals are alive with colors so vivid nothing like it exists on dry land. The places we visit are teeming with marine life. Thousands it seems swim all around you, and they come in different colors, sizes, and shapes.

Unlike in the movies where the sight of a shark evokes fear. To divers a shark is a welcome sight to behold. We saw one on our second dive. We dived down to layag-layag and then drifted towards bahura. There we saw a shark that was around 5 to 6 feet long and its fin was tipped black. It lingered for a while until it decided that our presence was somewhat of an annoyance and it decided to swim away.

The sea is always calling to us. Inviting us to visit its depths and see a whole new world even if only until the air in our tanks lasts.

December 30, 2004…

More Dive Pics

Random Thoughts... The World...

2004-12-29T10:39:00.002+08:00

The number of deaths from the Earthquake and Tsunami that hit Asia continues to rise now numbering around 33,000. The disaster affected Thailand, Indonesia, India, and Sri Lanka the hardest. This makes the recent typhoons look like a nice Sunday afternoon. Luck still seems to smile on us.

Viktor Yushchenko appears to be leading Ukraine's elections. This is the third round of runoff elections after Yushchenko won a legal battle after the fraud tainted second round. What sets this electoral contest apart from others, is the apparent poisoning of Victor Yushchenko, allegedly by his opponents. It was found that he was poisoned with Dioxin, a substance that could be found in such things as agent orange. Dioxin is known to cause severe facial disfigurement and other side effects. It transformed Yushchenko from a guy with dashing, almost movie star like looks to someone who looked like an aged, disfigured, cheap horror flick monster. And to think that we thought that Philippine politics was bad.

Does God manifest himself through his creation? A picture was taken by the Hubble Space Telescope, and it was quickly nicknamed The Eye of the Universe or The Eye of God. Metaphysical questions not withstanding, this is a cool picture.

Lines in Gray

2004-12-27T18:36:00.002+08:00

I think it’s complicated but it shouldn’t be
Everybody thinks they’re extraordinary
Maybe ill just hide in anonymity
Just one out of the many
Finding comfort in not being heard nor seen
If it seems like I talk nonsense
It doesn’t matter
If all I do amounts to nothing
And it’s never enough
So be it
You say I am a fool to believe
That all the signs lead nowhere
Still I have hope
If my thoughts are incoherent
And my ideas outright insane
Call me a jester as I yell and profess blasphemy
I point an accusing finger at the mirror
Seeing not only myself
I want to make you see
Welcome you to my world
Walk this journey with me
It will take time
Perhaps a life time or more
But we will get there
Or at least die knowing we did our part
If what I say strikes a cord
Feel free to lash out and hit back
I’ll take it in stride
Reply with gladness
Thankful for your time
I’ll light a match in the darkness
Come and rage with me in silence

Saying Merry Christmas via SMS

2004-12-25T23:29:00.002+08:00

About a week before Christmas I sent this out to my friends via SMS…

In this season of frenzied commercialism masked as a religious celebration, let us take a moment to reflect on its real meaning… Moments over, regalo ko ha!

And this afternoon, Christmas day, I sent this out to all my friends…

Everything that needs to be said can be summed up in two words: MERRY CHRISTMAS! Any questions?

Someone reacted that it was so typical of me saying that it was my “own version of a humbug Christmas.”

I disagree… It is simply my statement against the utter lack of creativity and imagination when sending holiday greetings. How many times did you get this one?

In this joyous season of merrymaking and endless parties, remember this: “Thou shall not weigh more than the refrigerator!”

Are we so busy that we cant even come up with a simple message or are we simply too lazy to even bother thinking of the words to express our sentiments. Somehow the message is lost in this frenzy of forwarding the cutest, funniest, and nicest, messages that we get. In the end it is just the telecoms service providers who end up having a laugh... HoHoHo!

Maybe it would be better if we keep it short and simple…

Merry Christmas to one and all…

Firefox 1.0

2004-12-24T03:11:00.002+08:00

I am now using the full version of the new Fire Fox Browser from Mozilla. I’ve been using the beta versions before but didn’t really use it that much since I preferred to wait for the final release. It has all of the features that you would need in a browser like pop up blocker and an imbedded Google search bar. I’m using it now at home and occasionally at work. I’d use more than IE but since I work for an account that serves the Evil Empire that may not be such a good idea.

Check out the Mozilla website to get the Firefox 1.0 browser and a lot of other great software all for free.

Bagong Umaga

2004-12-18T09:27:00.002+08:00

words: Bayang Barrios

music: Mike Villegas

May bagong umagang parating

May bagong umagang parating

Bagong umaga, bagong umagang

Parating...

Gaano man kabigat ang dinadala

Gaano man ang hirap na nadarama

Sa buhay mo, kaibigan ko

Walang pasanin na hindi gumagaan

Walang pagsubok na hindi nalalampasan

Bawat buhay ay may patutunguhan

Bawat pangarap ay may katiyakan

Sa puso mo, huwag mabibigo

Nasa iyo ang kapangyarihan

Nasa iyo ang pagkakataon at tagumpay

Halina kayo't gumising salubungin ang bagong silang

Halina kayo't tumulong lipulin ang dililm

Bayang Barrios

2004-12-18T08:40:00.002+08:00

I went to UP to watch the Lantern Parade yesterday. I caught the tail end, saw the much-awaited Fine Art’s lanterns and then I found my self with nothing to do. I met up with some people at Mc do, and I lobbied for something else to do instead of going to that over rated perya called Pasiklab along common wealth. I suggested that we go to Conspiracy bar, along Visayas ave. instead. I read about it in the Inquirer. It was curious that artists and even Conrado de Quiros owned that establishment. The bar it self is a whole different story.

Anyway, Bayang Barrios was playing that night. I’ve known about her since my college days but I wasn’t really a fan, since I’m really not into world music. I recently saw her story in the Probe Team in a report by Howie Severino. It was a story of a homecoming. It told her story, including how she hated being a Manobo because the other kids teased her about it, and how music helped her rediscover and embrace her roots. She found healing in her music.

Well the gig was a welcome change of pace, a different sound, and an all-together different experience. All her songs were in Filipino / Tagalog, and it seemed like they emanated from her soul. Definitely not the usual fare you find in other bars. The night was capped by a more mainstream song, "Bilanggo" sung by Bayang's husband Mike Villegas (From Rizal Underground and Color it Red).

Her story is interesting. It shows that there are still people here, who loves this country and its people. You can see that in her music. Her life, struggles, and achievements, is very inspiring. If you have some time I suggest you drop by her website. You can download some of her songs, get the lyrics, and read her story.

Bayang Barrios official website

Picture of a Girl

2004-12-14T21:40:00.002+08:00

We had a Team Building Activity last week. Seven of my agents and I went to La Luz resort in Batangas. We had our fill of the beach, beer, and bonding.

Anyway, I took some picture using one of those disposable underwater cameras. I took a lot of pictures under water but most of it was wasted because there wasn’t enough light. I however managed to get at least one picture I actually like. This is it...

This proves that you can sometimes find a diamond amidst a pile of garbage.

Click here for more pics

Alexander

2004-11-27T23:41:00.002+08:00

Before I saw the film Alexander I have already been warned that it was a gay movie, overly melodramatic, crappy character development, and battle scenes that were “blech”. I watched it anyway to see for my self.

I’ve never considered my self a movie critic but fictions based on historical events just have a way of annoying me when they deviate from acknowledged historical facts. It is a fact that during those times homosexuality or bisexuality was an accepted norm. The Greek thinkers espoused loving your fellowmen “in virtue”. They however favored reason, logic, and philosophy and did not look kindly upon men’s lower faculties. But hey the movie drove that message across well enough, too much in fact. The insinuations that the movie made is questionable at best, it did not mention the fact that Alexander’s beloved Persian boy was a eunuch nor did the movie show Alexander’s love for women showing only glimpses of distaste and hate. Oh well they must a have something else in mind.

Alexander was great not because of his sexual preference nor because of his psychological issues. He was considered great because of his great achievement in the field of battle and his conquest of the known world. He was considered great because of his military genius. He was not only a great military strategist but also a skilled, bold, courageous, and daring warrior. I don’t think the movie looked at that angle well enough.

If I remember correctly it was King Poros in the battle of Hydaspes who said he wanted to be treated like a king and not a princess of Persia who Alexander asked how he/she would like to be treated. The battle of Hydaspes also included a brilliant river crossing that was as much an achievement as the actual battle, I wish they included that. The battle was also fought in open ground not in a jungle, wherein their cavalry played a major part.

It was after the battle of Hydaspes that Alexander finally relented and decided to turn back but not because of a wound caused by an arrow. By most accounts he relented to his army’s clamor to turn back. He was badly injured by an arrow piercing his chest but that happened after Hydaspes in a battle to take a city, which was along the route back to Babylon.

Oh well…

As they said it’s a work of fiction…

Alexander the Great rides into the Battle of Issus in this Roman mosaic.

2004-11-26T04:42:00.002+08:00

"Paint It Black"

Rolling Stones

I see a red door
And I want it painted black
No colors anymore
I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by
Dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head
Until my darkness goes

I see a line of cars
And they're all painted black
With flowers and my love
Both never to come back
I see them turn their heads
Quickly look away
Like a newborn baby
It just happens every day

I look inside my self
See my heart is back
I see my red door
And I want it painted black
Maybe then I'll fade away
And not have to face the facts
It's not easy facing up
When your whole world is black

No more will my green sea
Go turn a deeper blue
I could not foresee
This thing happening to you.
If I look hard enough
Into the setting sun,
My love will laugh with me
Before the morning comes

Convocation

2004-11-22T07:38:00.002+08:00

I was mildly pleased to hear that we were to attend a convocation instead of having a class yesterday. Of course I planned to quietly slip out and spend my time in a more leisurely manner (ie. Tambay…).

The guest speaker or lecturer was the UP President, Dr Nemenzo. The topic was “The Philippine Labor Movement; A Clash of Ideas”… Yawn…

President Nemenzo talked about Marx, Lenin, the Soviet model of Communism, the Chinese model, and how the ideas driving Philippine Labor movement from the very beginning were not indigenous and should therefore be viewed from a broader perspective. I actually found the lecture interesting and rekindled a desire within me to re-read or read up on the topics discussed.

I stayed…

During the open forum I became aware of the presence of some representatives from organized labor. It was clear that most of them were not intellectually at par with those present in that convocation except for one. This guy was wearing a black shirt that read: Social Movement Unionism… He was articulte, passionate, and clearly capable of holding his own ground. He did admit at the onset that Labor / trade unions were growing weaker. Their memberships were on a decline and their influence diminishing.

Trade and Labor Unions have been weakened by their inability to adapt to new realities. Labor is no longer dominated by factory workers marching as the proletariat. These days people are employed primarily in the service and the informal sectors. This makes organizing a bit more difficult and the appeal of joining unions is waning. These are the realities of a globalizing world.

The guy made an appeal… He asked that the faculty do more research on the labor situation in the country and that the students keep an open mind and he asked for support. He asked for sympathy when they meet these same students across the bargaining table. It was true most of the students there represented management. Then it dawned on me, I was a part of management. I was a part of the system that aimed to maximize profit for the capitalist owners (ie. Stock holders) of the company.

The realities of my world may not be as dire as Marx would put it, but it still forces me to confront the reality of my situation. Am I doing what I want to do? Am I just another corporate slave cracking my whip to get other corporate slaves to perform according to the requirements of our masters. I cannot deny it, I am but a minion if the Evil Empire…

11/11/1976

2004-11-15T14:27:00.002+08:00

November 11, 1976. That’s my birthday. I spent the whole day in bed… No you pervert! I was sick! I think that being on a perpetual graveyard shift has wreaked havoc on my immune system. It started Monday and became worse by Tuesday. I went to the office clinic to ask for some lozenges and some Paracetamol because I thought it was just an ordinary cough. Instead the Doctor prescribed a strong antibiotic which costs 163 pesos each along with two other kinds of medicine. My medicines ran out by Saturday and they really didn’t seem to be of much help so I saw another doctor who stuck wooden cotton buds down my nose and then gave me a new set of medicine to take, doubling the dosage of the antibiotics. He also told to me rest for at least 3 days, but I will be coming back to work tonight because I’m running out of sick leaves.

I’m not that eager to go back because I still gasp for air whenever I walk a short distance or lift something heavy, but I feel that I really need to go back today, lest I drown in the work that is surely piling up.

On a different note, Faye’s story has been proven false. In case you have been hiding in a cave somewhere or you don’t have email or read newspapers, this is the story of a kid who supposedly won an international academic competition in Australia despite having no support at all. It was a typical sob story that turned out to be all lies. Well, this just goes to show that when it sounds too good to be true it probably is… This should all teach us that we should always verify information and not swallow things, hook, line, and sinker. More importantly, I think we should all stop looking for heroes. As the saying goes, if you want to believe in someone, believe in your self. This reminds me of that line in that old Mariah Carrey song, Hero. The last line goes: “The hero lies in you”…

Fools!

2004-11-07T07:44:00.002+08:00

How would you feel if someone put a gun to your head and asked you to proclaim love for and/or believe in something?

I read another one of these forwarded emails it was called “A Procrastinator's Story” and it told the story of a person who died and went to the gates of heaven and was not admitted because he did not “accept Jesus Christ” and he was condemned to Hell.

The last three paragraphs went….

With that in an instant,
Day turned into night.
I never knew such torture could be,
Now too late, I know the Bible is right.

If I can tell you anything,
Hell has no age.
It is a place of torture,
Separated from God and full of rage.

You know, I thought it was funny - a joke,
But this one thing is true.
If you never accept Jesus Christ,

HELL IS WAITING FOR YOU!

I replied…

How Medieval…

How Sad…

It’s sad that a lot of people would have to resort to such means to try and convince other people to believe in their religion. I hate the fact that threats are used to play on people’s inherent and deep-seated fears. I thought that Jesus Christ preached love, compassion, and forgiveness. I am not a practicing Catholic but I don’t think its right to scare people into believing or complying with your dogma, yes it may be effective specially for people who don’t have the intellectual capacity and critical mind to analyze the information being shoved down their throats.

The very description of hell is so medieval. The idea of hell as a city of fire and brimstone came from Dante but ancient Hebrew text and old Judeo Christian tradition tells us that Hell simply means death. I don’t think it would be just if someone was to suffer eternal damnation and torment for acts committed within a lifetime. I think the punishment should be commensurate to the sin, I think God would not want that.

As Puck said to Oberon… Oh Lord what fools these mortals be!!! (Mid Summers Nights Dream)

And so it is with us mortals…

Rush...

2004-11-06T19:15:00.002+08:00

Finally found the time to update this blog. It seems like the days within the past few weeks have been all too short. I barely felt that I had a sem break since work has eaten up most of my time. My nights have been spent trying to catch up with all the work I had to do. I know I would eventually get into to the groove and learn everything I need to know and things will become more routine and generally easier. But until that time I would just have to rush.

All the cramming and hard work last semester did pay off. I got a 1.25 and a 1.5 in my subjects. I should now be eligible for the Diploma in Industrial Relations and just need to complete 15 more units and of course pass the comprehensive exam to get my Masters degree.

Now I just need to find a way to juggle all the things I need to do, work, school, and other things that make life worthwhile.

Choices

2004-10-06T07:43:00.002+08:00

Everything seems to be somehow connected…

I had been really hoping to do my Best Practices paper (Labor Standards) on Smart Communications Inc. But that was shot down when my request was rejected. So I had to quickly find another company to focus my research on. I was able to get Unilab because of a friend who is working there. I was able to get the data I needed and I spent Friday night and most of Saturday, working on it and preparing a Power Point presentation. Only to find out that somebody else was already working on it. So I’m back to square one. I wouldn’t consider it a waste of time though, I think learning about how Unilab operates and the ideas they uphold was worth all the time I devoted to it. Unilab values its employees highly. It shares what it makes with its employees and they espouse the Bayanihan spirit in their operations.

On the other hand I think I am doing better with my IR 222 paper. My Prof required us to have primary data and suggested that we work on the companies we work for to make things easier. That was convenient, since I already had a research proposal ready from my IR 299 class and I still have the data from the Organizational Diagnosis survey I conducted a few months ago but I was never able to use it because I thought I didn’t have enough respondents. My Prof only required at least 15 survey respondents if we were going to use a survey and I had 24. Good thing I didn’t discard those surveys.

The Organizational Diagnosis survey I conducted focused on 5 key areas namely: job satisfaction, work environment, communications, leadership, and values. After processing the data, it appears that the respondent’s perception would indicate that there is a problem with job satisfaction and values. The fact that job satisfaction is low in this account comes as no surprise but values was a bit unexpected. Well at least now I know where to begin and what to watch out for…

I start on a new challenge come Monday…

Sick

2004-09-29T23:09:00.002+08:00

I called in sick today. I woke up earlier in pain. I had cramps on my right calve muscle. So I thought it’s just a cramp and was probably due to lack of salt or an electrolyte imbalance. All I could do was try to stretch my leg but even that was painful. It eventually subsided after what seemed like an eternity of excruciating pain.

When I finally got out of bed I felt something wrong with my upper lip. It was swollen as if I had been in a fight and gotten punched on my lip. I also felt heavy and my body ached all over. It made me think, had I been in a rumble? No… After assessing my symptoms it occurred to me that I had the symptoms of flu. My eyes were kinda irritated and breathing was a bit difficult. That would explain my swollen lip. I probably nicked my face while shaving and since my immune system was not working well because of either a viral or bacterial infection, a tiny wound got infected.

I experienced something like this a long time ago. I accidentally shaved off a pimple on my chin. I was sick with the flu at that time, and just like now my chin got infected and started swelling. I didn’t mind it until my face looked as if I had plastic surgery and talking was difficult and I sounded funny. Antibiotics and a lot of other medicines didn’t seem to help. I got tired of it so I punctured my chin with a sterile lancet and drained it. An unbelievable amount of pus and some blood drained out of my chin… Yuck!

I got in touch with two doctor friends and asked for their advice. One told me to take amoxcillin every eight hours for seven to eight days the other told me to go for a checkup since it seems like a viral infection and because the swelling was in a danger area, a triangle formed by the lips and nose. Why don’t I ever get anything simple like LBM?

Talk about bad timing. Aside from the fact that its exam and submissions season in school, I am also scheduled for an interview tomorrow and it occurred to me that another SL after a spate of SLs during the height of my migraine attacks might be taken against me. Oh well, that’s life.

Odes

2004-09-29T01:51:00.002+08:00

Odes, Book 3, Verse 29: Happy the Man

By: Quintus Horatius Flaccus (Horace), 65 to 8 BC.

Translated by John Dryden, 1631 to 1700 AD

Happy the man, and happy he alone,

he who can call today his own:

he who, secure within, can say,

Tomorrow do thy worst, for I have lived today.

Be fair or foul, or rain or shine

the joys I have possessed, in spite of fate, are mine.

Not Heaven itself, upon the past has power,

but what has been, has been, and I have had my hour.

Classes and Trainings

2004-09-21T03:15:00.002+08:00

I wish I could just close my eyes and go to sleep and wake up and the Semester is over. Procrastination has always been my weakness. I am swamped with papers with deadlines fast approaching. I still don’t have a concrete plan for my IR 222 term paper. It’s a bit complicated because I need to have some primary data and my Prof is a stickler for having a good research framework.

I am a bit better of with my IR 207.2 paper since my proposal was approved and we all have a standard topic. Were supposed to come up with a paper about Industry best practices on Labor Standards. To make things easier I chose Smart because it was chosen as the Best Employer in the Philippines in 2003. Now I just need to come up with a paper. Hah!

The Best Employers in the Philippines in 2003 (top 10)

1. Smart Communications, Inc.
2. Procter & Gamble Distributing (Phils), Inc.
3. Discovery Suites
4. Intel Technology Philippines, Incorporated
5. Philippine Pizza, Inc.
6. Development Bank of the Philippines
7. William Gothong & Aboitiz, Inc.
8. United Laboratories, Inc.
9. Mirant Philippines
10. Federal Express Corporation

Makes you think… Am I working for the right company???

On a different note, a friend of mine asked me to conduct a First Aid Lecture Demo for the applicants of her Mountaineering Org last Saturday. She asked me to do it because I could customize the training specifically to address their needs and focus the training on things that they will likely encounter.

I arrived at the venue past 8:00 am to find none of the participants there. Some things never change. To think that I barely had sleep the night before, had to skip breakfast and take a cab all the way from Valenzuela so as not to be late, and I had classes later that afternoon. I don’t know why I even bother, but I guess this is one of the things that teachers and trainers will always have to put up with. Oh well, life is like that…

Boracay in Black and White

2004-09-17T08:04:00.002+08:00

These pictures were taken last summer... I miss Boracay, I miss going out! Plans are in the works to go diving and maybe wake boarding this coming October, but until then I guess I will just have to continue dreaming and planning…

Hike! Climb! Dive!

More Pictures

Martyrs of Beslan

2004-09-10T17:32:00.002+08:00

The day starts out like any
The sun shines warm and bright
Children with parents in tow
Bring gifts for their teachers
Dressed in their best
They come full of expectation
Excitement and joy on their faces
It is the first day of school
The last few days for some

Faces covered with ski masks
Wearing martyr's belts
Bearing Kalashnikovs and RPGs
They come with tidings of death
Fighting for freedom
Yearning for a land of their own
With nothing to loose
They came to die
Yelling God is great
Vengeance will be mine

In this struggle appointed by God
They are patriots of a revolution
Soldiers of a just and holy cause
They bleed for God
Knowing that in the end
Paradise will be their reward

By intention or accident it began
A loud dreadful sound is heard
Gunfire erupts and bombs explode
The slaughter of the innocents begin
Chaos and confusion reign
Limbs and bodies are thrown all around
The dead lie mutilated and bloodied
Like the culling of lambs they die
Blood spilled and life wasted
Sacrificed in someone else’s war

Like ghosts the survivors emerge
Men, women, and children
Almost naked and with fear in their eyes
Three days of starvation and thirst
Sweltering heat and constant terror
They survived a meeting with death
Mind and bodies scarred forever

In the aftermath
Day light comes
But the land lay black
They march carrying crosses
Bearing pictures of the dead
With tears and bowed heads
They walk with the dead
Sorrow and grief abound
No one is left untouched
Chests heavy with anger
Overflowing with hatred
They ask how could this happen
What have we done?
In their hearts is resolve
Today we mourn
Tomorrow we fight

The land lay a ghastly red
Night comes and darkness spreads
The reaper sharpens his blade
Grim is his task
There is more coming
The Devil smiles
My work is never done
It’s not the end
It only just begun

Broken Bone

2004-09-08T01:57:00.002+08:00

A friend of mine broke his collarbone last Saturday. It happened while they were playing a game at the Sunken Garden. The bone was protruding and seemed bent although there was no break in the skin. There was an obvious deformity but it seemed like the bone was still intact and was probably just bent. I applied an underarm sling and a binder to immobilize and support the injured part.

We brought him to the National Orthopedic Hospital. After a quick x-ray my suspicions were confirmed, it was a greenstick or incomplete fracture of the right clavicle. This means that the broken bone was not completely separated. The attending physician just applied a collarbone support strap and he was told to come back in three weeks and then sent home.

We weren’t allowed to keep the x-ray but it looked something like the picture below.

The thing about this incident was it illustrated a lot of the theories that we have been teaching during First Aid Trainings. It also showed us what the injury really looked like and how the First aid procedures and techniques we have been teaching actually works.

Not so ordinary

2004-09-08T01:55:00.002+08:00

It was a night of pain and pleasure, a night of rekindling old friendships and ending new arrangements. It was just like any other night but it was a night to remember.

Over bottles of beer and in the company of friends we talked about pain and how it makes you feel alive. With raised glasses and bottles we toasted in tribute to pain and to life.

Talk… That’s how it usually starts. A nice conversation brings people together. Sometimes it’s so good that you don’t want it to end.

The Oracle in the film The Matrix Revolutions, said that: “everything that has a beginning must come to an end.”

That maybe true but who knows when that will be…

2004-09-03T07:18:00.002+08:00

The Road Not Taken

by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Decisions...

2004-09-03T07:00:00.002+08:00

I just sent an email… In it I withdrew my application for the Technical Support Engineer position for the Microsoft Business Solutions Account here in Sykes. I am actually scheduled for the final interview, this time with the client, this is scheduled later at 9:00 am in Ortigas. I will not be going because I feel that I have to put some focus in my life. I need to align my actions with my medium and long term plans even if I have to give up some things now.

And boy, am I giving up a lot! An increase in salary grade from salary grade 7 to salary grade 9, a laptop for use during support and for training, all the technical trainings you could ask for (like MCP, MCSE, CCNA), quarterly bonus of up to US $300.00, opportunity to travel abroad for training, and I heard there are a lot of pretty girls in that account. It took a lot of will power to give these up, specially the last one on the list.

I hope I made the right decision…

Chat

2004-09-02T07:38:00.002+08:00

I had a conversation with a friend of mine. She is a nurse, and like so many of our countrymen she wants to go to England to seek greener pastures. This is how it went…

Friend: Wala ka bang balak mag abroad?

Me: Wala.

Friend: Ganun? Kuntento ka na dito?

Me: Hinde, kaya nga hinde ako aalis eh. Kung lahat na lang ng matinong tao aalis ng Pilipinas, ano na lang ang mangyayari sa bansang ito.

Friend: Bakit, matino ka ba?

At that, I paused for a while to contemplate all that was said and how it illustrates our reality. Although it was meant as a joke, it struck me as a challenge. What could I possibly do? So I asked my self… Matino nga ba ako?

Minion of the Evil Empire

2004-08-31T08:06:00.002+08:00

I admit it, I am a Minion of the Evil Empire. I work in a call center as a Technical Support Rep serving the Evil Empire’s Internet Service Provider arm. I am a Helpdesk agent, which means I serve as a Level 2 Tech (Without the official title and minus the L2 salary), providing information, and giving directions to the Evil Empire’s legions of Level 1 Tech Support Reps. We are also the one’s who face the vicious and most vile of the customers… Those who ask for a supervisor…

Being in this job, your friends tend to think that your cell phone number is a 1-800 number for tech support. Calling or emailing to ask questions whenever there is glitch with their computers. So in order to preempt the inevitable let me post some reminders for those of you who are not minions or those who are technically challenged (This means you Jeifan).

Windows XP Service Pack 2

Microsoft has released the latest update to Windows XP. This update (called Service Packs) is a compilation of fixes and enhancements that is meant to improve the Windows XP operating system. Microsoft claims that this improves security for you PC… The problem is how do you protect your PC from this latest Service Pack.

Some of my fellow Minions made the mistake of downloading this latest Service Pack and voila their system crashed. One even had to reformat his PC. This is a warning… Unless you are a masochistic techie who loves spending hours trying to fix your PC stay away. Let the experts fix the bugs before you even come near it. By the way if your Automatic Update feature is enabled then you will get the service pack without even knowing it. So to be safe turn it off.

Ad-Aware SE

My favorite spyware removal tool just got better. This gets rid of those tracking software, unwanted plug ins, and other crap you get from browsing all those porn sites. Best of all you can get it for free.

Poisoning and First Aid

2004-08-26T08:06:00.002+08:00

Poison
Beauty almost died of poisoning yesterday. Beauty is our dog, a big, loud, and black Labrador with an equally big appetite. My Tita sprayed her with some chemical to get rid of her ticks and fleas. It was clearly a case of skin absorption poisoning. The pesticide apparently worked too well, it killed a lot of the ticks and fleas but almost killed the dog as well. It looked real bad that my brother had to rush her to the vet. Luckily she was back to her normal self when she got back home from the vet.

First Aid
We finally concluded the first aid training that we have been conducting for the last couple of weeks by having the First Aid Exams last Saturday. It has been several weeks of trying to teach kids how to do CPR, bleeding control, emergency rescue and transfer, and all the other skills. I call them kids because they were all born after Martial law. It is really fascinating how differently I see things today compared to how these kids act and how they think. I try my best to get them interested in the topics I am discussing and to keep their attention when the topic becomes boring. I just hope my efforts paid off. There are those who seem oblivious. It seems like they are there only because it is required in order to become a member of the org, and they just want to get it over with. I think they see first aid as something they have to put up with in order to become a member of UP Red Cross Youth which they probably think is a plus point on their relentless drive towards med school, specifically UP PGH. However there are those who I think see the importance of what we are doing. Anyways, it’s done. We need only wait for the results…

On a lighter note…

Latest addiction… Nescafe Ice from Ministop… It seems like I’ve been slurping it down almost daily. It’s a cheaper alternative to Starbuck’s Coffee jelly and it tastes somewhat like Zagu’s mocha pearl shake without the pearls. It’s so good that I got a couple of my officemates hooked as well. Jinggoy had 5 in one day and they even went to the extent of scouring 3 different Ministop outlets when it wasn’t available in Ministop branch near our office.

Liwanag sa Dilim

2004-08-18T08:28:00.002+08:00

I received a PDF file copy of "THE WALLACE REPORT" on my email. This paper was developed from an earlier one: "Does the Philippines Have a Chance" which was written in October 2002. As the paper claims: “All the points made are still relevant today. But this paper further advances the issues, and adds to them.”

The paper stated:

In the past 30 years the Philippines has averaged 3.1% annual GDP growth and a population growth of 2.5%. Which means almost no improvement for the Filipino over that 30 years. This is about half the rate achieved by other nations in Asia.

Why?

1. Politics - vested interest vs national good
2. Uncontrolled population growth
3. Weak educational system
4. Corruption
5. Inadequate infrastructure
6. An agriculture system that hasn’t improved in 30 years
7. An inadequate focus on job creation
8. A judiciary in need of major improvement
9. Security
10. Good governance.

If these 10, and it must be all 10 of them, aren’t fixed the Philippines will average 3.1% for the next 30 years too. The logic of this can’t be denied.

This is according to a paper entitled “WHERE TO THE PHILIPPINES? (OR, DOES THE PHILIPPINES HAVE A CHANCE?)” by Peter Wallace.

“THE WALLACE REPORT” presented a somewhat grim picture of the future of this country if the Government of Gloria Macapagal Arroyo does not get its act together and if we don’t make some significant changes that would overhaul our country. I may not agree with everything he said but he did make a lot sense and I would have to agree with most of the points he made.

We really don’t need a reminder that things are getting worse around here. We can see that clearly every time we hear one of our friends planning to go abroad to work or to migrate permanently, or when we meet someone who decided to take up nursing so that they can get a job in the UK or in the US.

Yes, life is very difficult here. But I’m staying… The fact that things are going bad and sometimes it seems hopeless is the very reason why I think I should stay. If all the good people all pack up their bags and left, then this country would really be hopeless. We may not see things get better within our life time but I think we should still try our best to do what we can here and try to make things a little better. As I said before someone has to stay to man the trenches.

This reminds me of that song by Rivermaya. The chorus goes: “Isigaw mo sa hangin... Tumindig at magsilbing… Liwanag… Liwanag sa dilim…

Weekend

2004-08-16T03:39:00.002+08:00

I spent last Friday night working on a case that our group was going to report on the next day. I had to skip to invitations for “gimiks” that night just to be able to finish the Power point presentation. Intermittent Migraine attacks made it a bit difficult to focus but I was eventually able to finish it on Saturday morning. I had to opt out of the First Aid training, good thing Olive was there to cover for me. Anyways… I found out later that it was all for naught because we weren’t able to get an overhead projector. We ended up using acetates and needless to say I wasted my Friday night working on a Power Point presentation that was utterly useless.

I did however manage to drop by at the First Aid Training that we were handling. Since it was the last training day before the exams we asked the participants to write an evaluation of the training. There are admittedly a lot of things we can do to further improve the First Aid Training but the interesting stuff was their evaluation of us instructors. As usual I got the usual comments of being scary and intimidating. I guess my height, size, loud voice, could be intimidating at times. Oh well… It works to my advantage. Hahaha!

We watched The Village last Saturday night at the Power Plant Mall in Rockwell. It never ceases to amaze me how that place seems to be so untouched by poverty. Anyways… the movie was interesting. It was different but my friends found the movie disappointing because of the twist and the ending. I however think that the film is ok, not great but ok. There are a lot of issues within the story. Is a traumatic experience enough to make people do such a thing? It’s a bit drastic but I guess anything is possible. Deciding to remove yourself from the world you know is a decision one can make but making a whole community, live a lie puts it on a totally different level. As the film showed evil can creep even into the most protected and controlled environment. Deciding to make people live in such a community, while using fear to keep people in line seems to be an evil in it self. It is simply unjustifiable despite the horrors that the elders went through. Reality can be a bitch but a safe controlled and perfect world can be just as stifling.

A scene from the movie "The Village"

Pictures and Prose… Circa 1990’s

2004-08-11T01:09:00.002+08:00

It is inevitable to sometimes reminisce about the days gone by. My trip back down memory lane was triggered by the need to tidy up my room. With Gregorian Chants on the background I found a pack of pictures that I took for the last subject that I took for my undergrad degree. Film 110 was a free elective and all we did was take pictures, develop and print them, and the teacher gets to critique your work. Anyways… I also found an old notebook of bits of prose that I wrote back then. It was the late 1990’s the last days of the last century.

These were the pictures that I took and the words I put down on paper… back when I was younger.

Words # 2

Staring at the ceiling
Sitting on the couch
Asking questions
and finding no answers
Searching for reasons
Hoping to survive
Dreading reality
Hating my life
Contemplating death
While craving for life

ROCK

As night descends
the stars shine out again
like gems beyond ones reach
they fill my eye's
yet leaves my heart heavy
another leaf falls
and here I sit waiting
no movement, no life
just watching the world go by
weathered away by the seasons
a rock crumbling inside

Ulan

Isang araw sa panahon ng tag-init
Kasabay sa pagtulo ng pawis
and aking pananabik
maibsan ang pighating dala ng init
hinihintay and pag-ihip ng hangin
na sanay sundan ng pagbuhos ng ulan
ulan na galing sa langit
at nagbibigay kulay
sa mga bulaklak at halaman
ulan na siyang papawi sa uhaw
ng aking kalooban
Tila naawa ang mga ulap
dahan dahang bumuhos ang ulan
ngunit kaakibat nitoy kulog at kidlat
na naging hadlang sa aking inaasam
Ang dikta ng aking isipan
ay sumilong mula sa ulan
ngunit ang bulong ng damdamin
ay salubungin siya
ng walang pakundangan

Dying

I dream of dying
cause life is all screwed up
and the horizon is painted
with dark colors
and dreadful hues
I dream of dying
cause I've arrived nowhere
and I've lived a life
of unending strife
But I wouldn't want to die
Because I also still dream of living
hoping to be happy
living and alive
But if I am to die
let it be on a glorious day
and with a blink of an eye
I hope to breathe my last
knowing that I did
while standing steadfast

Updates...

2004-08-09T02:00:00.002+08:00

I hate my Neurologist… I waited like two hours to see the guy and he brushes me off in what seemed to me like an impatient manner telling me that I just need to continue with my medications. Since he didn’t see anything wrong with my EEG results he pronounced that I was just suffering from Migraines. It was more like a sentence to a life of suffering and torment since there is no cure for it.

It seems to me that doctors are not particularly eager to see patients who are referred by their HMO’s, and I think that is because they are not paid outright and they would have to wait till all the paperwork is processed and stuff. Since I’m on the topic, I also hate it when doctors prescribe those absurdly expensive medicines, probably because they have an understanding with some medrep who promised a hefty commission or a trip abroad or something.

I now hate it when people use the word Migraine when they are suffering from a simple headache. If they only knew what it really is, I doubt if they will use it loosely. These days a good day is when I don’t get a migraine attack (which is really rare) or even if I just get a mild attack that doesn’t last that long.

I spend a whole lot more time sleeping these days just so I wouldn’t have to deal with the pain. But I sometimes wake up with a really bad headache, and it reminds me of the reality, that I now have to live with this.

This weekend has been Maddening. I met up with an old high school friend last Friday. I knew when I got that text message that she was having problems again. I sometimes wonder if I have a sign on my forehead saying “call me if you need help!” Its funny how some friends only call me when they are in trouble or in need of something. I had no intention to… but I somehow got my self into trouble because of that. It’s a bit complicated and I now need to find a good exit strategy.

I spent Saturday teaching First Aid to a bunch of kids. Now when I say kids I mean college students, applicants actually to my old college org. It was productive but a bit tiring specially since I didn’t get much sleep the night before. There was also this one particular girl who for some reason seems to feel so uneasy around me. I don’t know if she is of afraid of me or if it’s something else, but it’s obvious that she is uncomfortable around me. I think its only fair that I mention that I do have a reputation for being strict and uncompromising during trainings and I have this style that intimidates a lot of people. Oh well it’s her problem…

Migraine Boy!!!

2004-08-05T07:59:00.002+08:00

I had a little chat with a Neurologist last week and he said that my symptoms indicate that I may have Migraine. He prescribed some medication to prevent and relieve the pain the pain caused by Migraines and at the same time he ordered an Electroencephalogram (EEG) test be conducted just to be sure.

I had 22 electrodes pasted on my head last Tuesday to measure my brains electrical activity. It was actually uneventful except for the fact that the receptionist and nurses at that place where I had an EEG were all quite pretty. I actually thought to my self, what if I suddenly start singing “Ale nasa langit na ba ako? Mama kayo po ba si San Pedro? Ok lang sa akin kung ako’y deadbol na basta’t ikaw ang lagi kong kasama…”

People are really helpful and they have the most interesting theories as to the cause of my freaking headaches. Here are a few:

1. Pressure on some nerve on my head… My tita suggested using a different pillow.

2. Cancer or some kind of tumor… My friend actually said something like “that looks serious man”, and actually suggested I make up with people who I am not in good terms with. Duh!

3. Aneurysm… My cousin actually said that he had a friend who died of similar causes… Thanks! That helps!

4. Parasites… The guy who said this one is a Biology major, so it’s understandable.

5. Worms… from eating too much tuna sashimi… I will tolerate the pain but I will not give up Tuna sashimi!

Then again there is El who said “kulang ka lang sa climb… pahiram ng tent mo kung hindi ka sasama ha.”

Faced with one’s own mortality and/or the prospect of life lived in pain a person tends to become a bit introspective. But I don’t think I should loose my sense of humor just yet.

2004-08-02T07:06:00.002+08:00

Told in Ordinary Language

everything that was said
keeps running through my head
in simple strokes and ordinary language
all told in hushed voices
punctuated by an occasional scream

We knew it was complicated
A line was drawn
But it was too quickly blurred
and soon after it faded
until there was nothing
nothing but the thrill and excitement
pulse beating and life surging

I asked her a question
even if I already knew the answer
What we were and who I am
but it doesn’t really matter
we need not give it a name
we dont have to say it
we need only delight
in the subtle pleasure of every touch
and every moment spent together

seemingly uncertain of her reasons
tentative in her actions
she says one thing and mean another
she unties her guilt
embracing all there is

curious, definitely
questions, way too many
regrets, maybe
but not now
for now we live
grab what we can reach
make do with what time we have
and throw caution to the wind

Just another post.

2004-07-25T23:41:00.002+08:00

I find it a bit awkward to write something here after neglecting it for the longest time.

So ill just write whatever comes to mind.

I’ve been suffering from annoying headaches this past couple of weeks and its been getting worse. I had to see a doctor and gave me instructions to monitor my blood pressure and referred me to an ophthalmologist to have my eyes checked. Since my BP was normal I somehow resigned my self to wearing glasses. My mom wanted to bring me to her Neurologist but I opted to give the eye doctor a chance. After a battery of tests by the ophthalmologist, she declared that I had 20/20 vision and didn’t need glasses. She also had me scheduled for another test, Visual Field Test or something to try and rule out any other possibility like Glaucoma, which is unlikely. So my eyes are OK but still no one knows what is wrong with me. I’ll be scheduling an appointment with a neurologist, in the hope of making the pain go away.

Something interesting happened last Friday. It was an interesting and fun filled night. Rules were broken, boundaries were crossed, and good sense set aside, to give way to passion and basic instincts. There really is no need to give it a name nor to define anything. It’s just one of those things….

What should you do if a dog bit you? I told people in a First Aid class that I’d shoot the dog… Who cares if it has rabies or not… hehehe. I was trying to provoke the participants into reacting but it seemed like no matter what I do, those kids were just tooooo nice for a confrontation. What is wrong with younger people these days? It seems like they all want to avoid confrontation and are all too sensitive and/or polite for their own good.

On the academic front… My IR 222 class last Saturday was quite a surprise. We all got chewed up by our professor for our output. Good thing that was just a test case, the real thing is yet to come. IR 207.2 was no better. Things all point to a toxic few weeks ahead.

The Gathering

2004-07-07T00:22:00.002+08:00

There is a disturbance in the force… A gathering is about to take place, and I dread its coming.

Overseas-based relatives are in town and the inevitable family reunion will have to come to pass.
An Aunt, her children and their families from the US have already arrived. I’ve seen my cousins maybe once or twice over the last decade. They left shortly after the first Edsa revolution at the height of the attempted coup de etats against the Aquino Administration. I actually haven’t seen this aunt of mine since they left way back in the 80's.

An uncle based in Germany will also be coming home with his family. He moved to Germany in the 70’s and I’ve only seen him a few times during short visits. His 2 sons, my cousins have only known Germany as a home. They love football, or soccer as we would call it and they can hardly speak English.

I dread the long spiels about religion that my aunt gets into and the inevitable questions about marriage and settling down. My mom gets the brunt of that since all three of us, brothers are still single. My mom just sighs “ewan ko ba sa kanila” every time she is asked if any of us are married. I think my mom is yearning for grand kids, but luckily I am the youngest so the pressure is not on me but on my eldest brother. Hahaha!

But what I dread the most about this coming reunion is my aunt’s inevitable insistence that we should also migrate to the US to ensure a better future. The last time I talked to her on the phone she was insisting that we should work on getting a US visa and even suggested going to Canada if we cant get a US visa. I know she means well and it is true that life here is difficult, but the country needs people to stay and man the trenches so to speak.

Back to school

2004-06-20T02:35:00.002+08:00

It was the 1st day of classes today… or should I say yesterday… Hmmm…whatever!

I only have two classes or six units this semester. I opted not to take any more than that because last semester was really toxic… neigh! Hellish would be the right term. 9 units of graduate courses and a full time job was like slowly committing suicide. All three subjects took their toll but I am happy to report that I somehow passed all three subjects.

I was kinda hoping that things would be a bit lighter this semester but my hopes were quickly dashed when my first teacher laid out what was in store for us, he actually used up the whole 3 hours talking about different approaches to case studies and the different methods we could use for our reports. When I got to the office earlier this evening I found my 25 mb email account in the red, my professor apparently emailed a lot of the readings for our class. I guess he wants us to start reading up.

Luckily my professor for my 4 to 7 pm class was a no show. Good… or so I thought, I found out later that he or she left us an assignment. We are so supposed to read books 2 and 3 of the Labor code. Damn! This is not going to be a walk in the park.

I got another email again. The same forwarded email I received a couple of days ago. It seems like a message asking me… Why? But its just lines from a TV show that could be nothing more than that, just lines from a TV show. I don’t know how to reply or if I should even do so in the first place. I don’t know, I just don’t know.

Why can’t we just say exactly what we mean? Why do we have to hide behind poetry and lines from TV show to convey what we feel and to ask the questions we wish to ask?

One of my officemates said... It doesnt matter, at least I am not lonely. That got me thinking, is loneliness so bad that you can say "atleast I am not lonely" I don't know why but that sounds so wrong. Sometimes it seems like I'd rather be alone than not be sure.

E-mail blog entry (Test Message)

2004-06-16T23:04:00.002+08:00

First post using blogger's emailed posting. I can now post entries on my blog by simply sending an email to my blogger account. Next stop… mobile blogging using my cellphone's WAP / GPRS service

I've also finished signing up my friendly_neighborhood_dementor YM user ID as a free e-mail account in Yahoo. Yahoo is amazing, 100 mb for free... This means additional online storage space for all the junk I need to keep. I now have 4 email accounts with over 160 mb capacity....

The evil empire (Microsoft or MSN) really sucks giving free users only 2 mb of space. They should really smarten up or the competition will leave them behind.

Things only a geek would say…

“Wala kayo sa mouse ko… anong sinabi ng mga optical mouse ninyo sa A4 tech, 5 button, two scroller, optical mouse ko”.

Jay said that…

To be or not to be...

2004-06-13T06:32:00.002+08:00

It just occurred to me that I am a geek. I was in UP last week with some orgmates eating halo-halo at lutong bahay and we had a small circle talking about stuff. Then Leslie who just started teaching at the College of Engineering, brought up Linux as a topic. Slowly the nine people around us melted away until there was just the two of us talking about computer stuff. Leslie is probably more of a geek himself, he graduated (on time) with a degree in Civil Engineering, passed the board, and is now teaching engineering science while studying for a Masters degree. He teaches fluid mechanics and stuff. And I was selling him the idea of having a yahoo group for his class and maybe having classes in cyber space. Its something I picked up from my classes at SOLAIR.

I’ve never thought of my self as a geek but I can handle my self around computers, I can hardwire a network for playing counter strike, I know what TCP/IP, FTP, and POP3 means, I love reading history books, and I actually used Windows NT 4.0. Does these things make me a geek or am I just a pretender? On the other hand I’m no good with math and I hate coding. In any case I wouldn’t really mind either way…

I also just realized how much effort I actually put into this blog. I could have just simply stayed with Blurty or gotten a livejournal account (like everybody else) but that wouldn’t be cool… Rain, the blog boss, mafia head, and landlord (were paying him to host our blogs) engineered this whole thing. First, my blog (the same with Jay’s and Sonny’s) is a blogger account but its hosted in Rain’s domain. Pride would of course preclude the idea of having my blog as raincontreras.com/user so we had to get our own domain names from .TK and mask the host name with our own domain names. Then there was the avatars and pictures. Jay had to painstakingly teach me how to setup an account at tripod.lycos.co.uk in order to host my pics, which can then be linked to my blog. Then theres Blogrolling for the links. Whew!!! All this effort, and for what… Hey, who knows maybe civil war will erupt and I can be famous like Salam Pax of the famous “Where is Raed” blog, but that’s to far fetched. Me being famous, is far fetched not civil war, not with all the crap going in Congress right now.

I was reading Where is Raed, Salam Pax’s blog. Salam Pax is the famous Baghdad Blogger who gave the world an in the scene point of view of what happened in Iraq before and after the invasion. It’s really funny and insightful. It’s a breath of fresh air after all the teen, angst filled, rants that I’ve come across. Not that it’s all shit out there, there are actually some that are well written and interesting to read. Now if only I had their wit and talent.

Week in Summary

2004-06-09T00:45:00.002+08:00

The week went by so fast…

I spent Wednesday of last week, which was my rest day in the office because we had to finish reviewing tickets for the monthly roundtable. I hate rendering OT on my rest day even if it pays double what I would normally get. I value time more than money.

Thursday was a movie marathon day. I saw Harry Potter and the Day after tomorrow last Thursday with Rhanee. Saw Conch with Lisa in Bubba Gump in Greenbelt. Not surprisingly, Conch still hasn’t finished scanning our pictures from Boracay.

I was able to create an online photo album at webshots (http://community.webshots.com) to upload the photos that I recently scanned. I have to admit I got a bit carried away in scanning and uploading my pictures. But what the heck I am going to upload some more. This is the link for my photo albums: http://community.webshots.com/user/ron2lopez

I miss the comfort of commuting. I had to commute last Monday because I had to attend our weekly meeting and calibration and the car was banned from the roads because of the MMDA’s volume reduction scheme. So on Tuesday morning I had to take the bus going home after work. I was able to sleep most of the way. Had I been driving, it would have been a struggle keeping awake. I sometimes wonder if I should really be driving going home after work. I guess this is one of the hazards of working on the night shift. I have had my share of close encounters that was a heartbeat away from becoming a full pledged vehicular accident.

Seeing Red

2004-06-05T06:27:00.002+08:00

I see red

in the blood that flows inside me

it calls out my name in a rage

like a coming tempest

but its silent and subdued

only making itself felt through

stern reminders and unwanted advice

I see red

it flashes bright and brings tidings of peril

Each step I take and every mile I go

with each second that passes

It consumes me even more

enslaved with my consent

I struggle

trying to break free

I see red

and it tells of revolution and civil strife

fierce, fiery, and filled with passion

and its gone awfully wrong

the dead litter the streets

along with principle and good intentions

I see red

its the setting sun

colored crimson at dusk

ushering darkness and uncertainty

it spreads and shrouds the land

seemingly endless, cold, and haunting

I see red

and its the color of courage

as it brings forth a new day

promising more uncertainty and hardships

yet it serves as a banner to push on

with rage in our hearts

as we go about another day

Finally!

2004-06-01T06:15:00.002+08:00

Alleluia!!! Finally got my flat bed scanner working!

It wasn’t easy. First I had to edit the registry of my operating system so that I could change the product key and install Windows XP Service pack 1. Then I had to install the USB drivers followed by the bundled application. Voila! I was scanning pictures.

I spent the whole afternoon scanning pictures, which I plan to eventually upload somewhere. More pictures coming in, so I can expect a whole lot more scanning.

Back to work today. I can’t say that I am all too eager to get back to work. I had to do my share of bucket of the tickets we need to review before the roundtable discussion tomorrow. I am also looking at more of this tomorrow for the monthly roundtable.

I have to remind my self that enlistment for the 1st semester is almost here. I barely felt it, now the summer vacation is almost over. Juggling work and MA is not easy.

Three days

2004-05-30T22:01:00.002+08:00

It’s a Sunday night and I am at home. I’m on leave today and it’s nice to not be in the office on a Sunday night for a change. My PC is finally working again. We had to get help from my brother’s friend who owns a computer shop to get it fixed. I’ve always known my way around a computer and I have a lot of resources available to me at the office that I can use to fix my PC but sometimes you just need to get help. I simply did not have the tools and equipment to fix the problem. I think I am mature enough to admit it when I need help.

I’ve already installed and played Empire Earth, just had to play it first before I went about doing everything else that needs to be done. I am now downloading the MSN Messenger. My brother has already downloaded Yahoo companion and I’ve already finished downloading MSN Toolbar and Getright. I still need to download some updates from Microsoft, Ad-aware, and Mozilla. After that I will try to setup my flat bed scanner and install more games.

Post dated…

I saw Shrek last Friday and it was really funny. But like most films with sequels the first one is of course funnier.

I also finally got the black and white prints of pictures I took in Boracay. There are some nice pictures there but a lot of the prints were burned. There were no shades of gray just sharp black and white. I should really find another shop to get my black and white films developed and printed. There is always Hidalgo but it’s a bit too far.

Instead of going scuba diving this weekend I ended up in my old college org’s medical, dental, and circumcision mission yesterday. I was asked to drive some of the doctors to and from the venue, which is in Rodriguez in Rizal province. I suspect that Erl was the one who volunteered me for the job. Oh well, the things I’d do for my org.

I took a lot of pictures there. I used a Kodak ASA 400 black and white film on my SLR camera and another roll on my instamatic camera, colored this time. Someone asked me why I had to use two cameras that day. I said that I use the SLR camera and black and white film for artistic reasons while the instamatic camera is for documenting the events of that day.

After the medmish (it’s a term the org’s members coined) we ended up in a mall for dinner. Afterwards, a few of us had some drinks in Packo’s. Erl, Kim, Ace, and I ended the night by going up the hills of Antipolo for coffee, mango juice, and French fries, at one of those restaurants overlooking the city. Sometimes all you need to have fun and enjoy your self is good conversation with friends.

Bad day…

2004-05-27T03:35:00.002+08:00

Scuba dive slated for this weekend was scrapped because everybody backed out. I can’t dive without a dive buddy so I had to let it go.

I have 3 consecutive days off this coming weekend with nothing to do.

I can’t find anyone who wants to watch Shrek 2 with me.

My PC at home is still not fixed.

The price of gasoline is skyrocketing.

One of the car’s headlight is not working when set on dim. So I had to drive with high beams the whole time.

Traffic was so bad that it caused me to be late for work.

Lost my temper again. Yelled at a guy who almost hit the car I was driving while stuck in traffic. Not withstanding the fact that their van stalled and they were rolling backwards. Tsk, tsk, tsk…

Work has become really toxic. A recent development is making work utterly intolerable.

Seems like things are spiraling out of control…

How to say Hello and Good Morning.

2004-05-26T02:07:00.002+08:00

I wanted to say hello this morning through the usual text messaging. But instead of sending the worn out, poorly abbreviated, good morning. I opted to send a message in a somewhat different format. I composed a limerick like bit of prose (I dare not call it poetry) in order to come up with an original and at least different way of saying hello and good morning. With the constraints inherent with sms messaging it was not that easy. The whole day went by with out even a reply. I can only come to a simple conclusion that the recipient of my text message thought it was just another forwarded message. The same thing happened last Christmas and New Year when a couple of my friends thought that the message I composed and sent was just a forwarded message.

A forwarded message is often a nuisance. I mean we all get tired of those jokes, greetings, and stuff. We also feel no need to reply to forwarded messages because we think that these are not as sincere as something crafted by the sender. Thus my message this morning went unappreciated. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I should have made it simple and not exerted effort, nor exercised creativity. But there are days when I really just feel like being a bit poetic and I get the urge to use rhymes of old.

Oh well, that’s how things work.

Days of Disquiet, Nights of Rage

2004-05-25T01:05:00.002+08:00

I just finished reading Jose F. Lacaba’s book “Days of Disquiet, Nights of Rage” this afternoon. It was about the First Quarter Storm, and it brought the reader right into the midst of the marches, protests, and pitched battles with the police. It was interesting to read because it gives a glimpse of an era in our history that is often referred to by a lot of progressive or militant people in UP. I suspect that the typical UP student and probably anybody else who wasn’t directly involved in it, would not know much about those events in our history.

That was the 1970’s fast forward to 2004. We are still faced with a lot of the same problems we had then. Although I don’t share a lot of the author’s ideas and beliefs about the our country’s situation and how to go about tackling these problems, it still tells a good story that we can all learn from and is relevant today as it was then. Considering the current political situation and in the wake of the recent upheavals like “EDSA Tres” and constant rumors of coups, it is not unlikely that we will be seeing a lot of protest actions, civil disturbance, and basically more turmoil. Then as now it seems that the masses are often used as cannon fodder to further self serving interests and political agenda. It seems like we never learn.

Another interesting thing I found was that part about Ed Jopson. The author saw him as an apologist, bourgeoisie, a moderate, a typical Atenean who could not really be trusted to fight the people’s fight. That is, until he was killed in Mindanao in 1982. EdJop went underground and fought an armed struggle while a lot of the more militant activists of that time turned away and became lackeys of the dictatorship or simply forgot about the struggle. This reminded me of the movie Troy and how Achilles was given an option of staying and living a comfortable life or going to war to face death and yet gain immortality. Ed Jopson could have opted for the comfortable life of an Ateneo graduate yet he chose a path less traveled and now he is seen as a hero by radicals, militants, and leftist groups. He has been immortalized in stories that are still being told today.

First Post

2004-05-23T23:13:00.002+08:00

Being my first post in this all new blog. I somehow feel that I should write something smart, witty, and interesting. Nah…

I don’t see my self, posting blow by blow accounts of how I eat my cereals or check my e-mail. I don’t think anyone would give a damn nor would it make for good reading if I talk about what underwear I wore today and how difficult it was to choose which one to wear (I only wear white, classic, size 32, Jockeys so that wouldn’t be much of a dillemma) I also don’t think talking about relationships would do, because I don’t have much to say because theres not much going on in that department (so much for melodrama). My life is so boring a paraplegic’s blog would probably be more intereting.

So why the hell did I get this blog in the first place? I already had one in Blurty.com. But nobody ever reads that thing which is just as well because I kinda like the idea of having a personal journal that is kept anonymous by the fact that it is out in the open and yet nobody knows about it. Well, maybe it was a case of jumping on the bandwagon. Whatever...

Well here it is. A blog with no point to make, nothing important to say, nothing of interest to talk about, no apologies, nothing to prove, and no one to impress. Probably no readers as well.